Your company organizes a sports event for a local community. LETTER

exam is coming soon.!! please help me
is it right format, which part i need to more develop to make it a very good letter

Please evaluate my letter based on criteria with band score.
Thanks very much for your time.

Every year your company organizes a sports event for a local community, but this year they can't do it. Write a letter to your local newspaper about this. In your letter

- Express your feelings about missing the sports event
- Tell them about your plans for next year
- Explain how this sports event is useful.

Letter to my company

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my regret on behalf of STA Bank Limited that we are not going to arrange the local football competition this year because of unavoidable reason.

The event is mainly organized to involve young people in sports as they really enjoy taking part in this . We are also proud of being part of this. Now we feel extremely regretful for our inability to continue with the annual competition.

Due to facing financial obligations, we have decided not to support the event this year. Now we are committed to relaunch it in the next year. We have already allocated a healthy amount to plan the competition.

The event is essential for young to keep sound health. Ultimately they will be the future leaders of our extended corporation as well as our nations.. If they are deprived from getting such opportunities, this might bring detrimental impact on their overall development. Thus, we will never get a charismatic leaders. That is why our company arranges this event considering such social benefits.

I look forward to an exciting event next year.

Yours' faithfully,

Purba Hossain
Senior Officer, STA Bank Limited

This is my first reply on this thread, therefore, kindly pardon me if my criticism and corrections and not up to the mark.
As i was going through the letter I felt incoherence. It feels like you are jumping from being regretful for not being able to arrange the even and shedding light on the importance of the event.

You can start the letter by writing something about how amazing last year's football even was, arranged by your company and then you can move onto describing the financial constraints keeping you from arranging this year's event. In my opinion starting a letter or any article with an outright negation does not look good, it puts the reader in a bad mood.

Then you can move on to describe the importance of sports for youth and for the community, the sportsman spirit which it brings. Moreover, it gives the community a chance to sit together and enjoy some quality time in a healthy way. After this you can describe the steps which your company is taking to ensure the arrangements for next year's event.

Regards

You need to stop putting a title for your letters. The IELTS test does not require you to give a title or essays that you write. Just start writing at once because titles will be deducted from your word count, which could affect the way that you present the essay or letter. Just begin the discussion, don't turn it into a class essay that requires a title. Next, you do not "write to express my regret" rather you "write to express the regret that STA Bank Limited will not be hosting its annual football competition this year." Nobody cares if you regret not hosting the event, it is the company that should be throwing it and you, as the representative of the company, should represent the collective, not individual regret. Learn to figure out the difference.

In a company letter, is always the company speaking through a representative. You need not explain why the company is not hosting the event. Anything you say as the representative of the company will be a direct reflection of its image. When you quote financial concerns, the public might think the company is losing money and that will cause a pull out of investors. I cannot believe that you are so careless as to make such statements. Read the instructions as you write the letter. Do no place information that is not part of the instructions. You should have removed that statement in the letter because you were not instructed to write that.

You are showing an increasing lack of ability to follow English based instructions in this letter with that tremendous mistake of yours. Had this been an actual company letter, you could have lost your job. Then, you did not really explain how the event will come back even better next year. You could have used that explanation as the omission of this year's game instead. That would have been more upbeat and positive, thus helping the company image, not destroying it.