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IELTS Writing Task 1-Comparative Graph CO2

JoyceTran 1 / -  
Nov 28, 2019   #1

co2 emissions per person in europe

The diagram illustrates the amount of CO2 that has been emitted individually in the UK, Sweden, Italy and Poturgal from 1967 to 2007, a period of 40 years. Overall, the total amount of CO2 emission in Italy and Portugal was increased continuously during the period given, while the number of that in the UK and Sweden was decreased significantly.

It can be seen that Portugal was the country had the least amount of CO2 emission in 1967 with only over 1 metric ton. This figure has risen steadily and remained at about 5 metric tonnes from 1997 to 2007. The same pattern has been witnessed in Italy with only around 4 tonnes in 1967 to almost doubled in 2007 at 8 tonnes.

By contrast, the amount of CO2 in Sweden was about 8 tonnes in 1967 and then has declined sharply to around 5 tonnes though there was a remarkable growth in 1977 at its peak of 10 tonnes. In the Uk, the amount has decreased slightly from about 10 tonnes in 1967 to 9 tonnes in 2007.

  • Task 1

Maria - / 1,102 389  
Nov 28, 2019   #2
Hi there! Thanks for coming to the site. I hope that the feedback you receive here will be helpful for your writing endeavors. Don't hesitate to approach us if you have any other questions!

Firstly, I think that the transition between the facts could still be improved if you focused more on organizing details of your text. For instance, the first sentence from the get-go needed to be shortened. You could opt to remove filler words that do not add value/substance to the rest of the text since this will help you crystallize the rest of your writing.

Be cautious as well of the formation of your sentences, specifically in references to your tenses. Currently, I have observed that you have a tendency to over-do some parts of the text. For instance, going back to the first paragraph, the last phrase should have had the "was" omitted from it to create something more concise.

Try your best to implement these to the rest of your writing. Good luck as always.
Ghitamalia 3 / 4 2  
Dec 15, 2019   #3
Hi @JoyceTran !

I have comment on your essay:

Firstly, Please be more attention the tenses. You should use past tense for past events. For instance:

This figure has had risen
The same pattern has had been ...

... and then has had declined
... the amount has had decreased

Hopefully, this could be useful for you.

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