consumption chart on six distinct items
The chart provided gives data on on the amount of consumption spend on six distinct items in Germany, Italy, France and Britain.
It is clear that British people spent significantly more money than people in other three countries on all six goods whilst the Italians take the least.
Looking at the bar chart with more details, we can see that people in Britain spent just over 170,000 pounds sterling on photographic film, which is the highest number on the chart. Next came with toys in the UK, it also takes a second place which is the number not far behind the former's figure. In the same category, Italy and France use in an equal number on toys, about nearly 160,000 pounds sterling. However, while people in France consump more than Italians on film photo and CDs, Italy people paid out for more personal stereos, tennis racquets and perfumes. Especially, the products of scent make up around £145,000 also a lowest number shown on the chart.
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It is unfortunate that you forgot to include the image with your essay. I need the image to be able to compare your presentation with the instructions and image content. Without it, all I can give you is a general grammar review. Please remember to include the image next time.
(WARNING! USERS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO UPLOAD THE IMAGE FOR THE OP! DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK!)
Although you wrote 165 words, you did not format your presentation properly. The task 1 essay has a maximum of 3 paragraphs for its informative presentation. The summary overview contains the following information:
- Image type
- Related information
- Measurement type
- Trending statement
Every paragraph should have a 3 sentence minimum presentation, with 5 sentences being the maximum. This not only increases your word count, but also allows you better represent your LR, C&C, and GRA abilities for an increased scoring potential. The shorter your sentence presentations, the less likely you are able to present a proper range of simple and complex sentences. Hence the need to present more sentences per paragraph.
I do not feel like you are properly representing the given image. I just cannot confirm my hunch because of the missing image. It will be better for you to remember that you should always target the 3 paragraph requirement for the Task 1 essay. It will never hurt for you to follow the formatting requirement. Remember, you get scored for that too.
I think you should, put the word "Overall" or "In general" for the overview. Then, usually there are three paragraphs for Task 1, they are: - Paragraph 1: introduction & Overview, Paragraph 2: Body 1, Paragraph 3: Body 2. You should give the proper trend that you can explain into body 1 and body 2. You may look the trend based on six distinct items