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Compare and Contrast 3 hostels (Nomads (NM), the Elizabeth Hostel, Habitat)


Phat Tran Van 2 / 5  
Mar 6, 2012   #1
Here is my FORMAL ESSAY about compare and contrast 3 hostels in Melbourne, Australia.
I need your comments, your helps to make it better. Thanks in advance !
This is my second draft:

Choosing a hostel is an extremely important factor, which affects the quality of a vacation. Therefore, it is necessary to select the most suitable hostel in order to have a complete happy holiday. In this essay, three hostels in Melbourne, Australia are considered, namely the Nomads All Nations Backpackers (NM), the Elizabeth Hostel (Eli) and Habitat HQ (HQ). They are compared with respect to the convenience of their location, prices and facilities.

Firstly, the convenience of the three hostels' location varies considerably. While HQ is located on St Kilda Road, close to St Kilda Beach, Eli is situated on Eliazabeth Street, which is only one minute's walk to the Queen Victoria Market. On the other hand, NM is the most convenient since it is placed on Spencer Street. There is a number of attractions nearby NM such as Crown Casino, the Yarra River, Exibition and Convention Centre.

Secondly, each hostel also differs in regard to the prices. NM offers the cheapest price with AUD 22.00 for shared 12 beds rooms and AUD 40.50 for budget twin rooms. Eli provides a higher price for shared 10 beds rooms at AUD 22.00 and AUD 30.00 for budget double. HQ has the most expensive price at AUD 32.00 for shared 10 beds rooms and AUD 54.67 for triple rooms.

Lastly, the three hostels share their similarities and differences in respect to the facilities. All of them supply fundamental facilities explicitly self-catering facilities, television room, washing machines, Internet and wifi. However, while NM offers a restaurant, it is not included in HQ and Eli. In addition, NM also supplies free pool tables and a bar with no curfew.

In conclusion, each hostel has its own benefits. Habitat HQ lies opposite to St Kilda Beach, but it is the most expensive, so it is the least feasible for budget backpackers. Nomads, on the other hand, is in the most convenient location and is the easiest to access public transport and attractions. Because it is located in center of Melbourne with the most affordable price, Nomads is the best choice for budget travelers wanting to visit Melbourne.

***
I'm not sure about the introduction. Thanks for comments !
Btw, there're total 350 words, but the limit is just 300 words, can you help me reduce some?
fanmanga90 2 / 7  
Mar 6, 2012   #2
this is my opinion, u can consider:
- in the introduction part, there are not problems, however u can come up with some good ideas
- with the body paragraph, if there are many things in your choosing, u should emphasis on one thing that u like, by the way, your essay can be decreased with number of words
OP Phat Tran Van 2 / 5  
Mar 6, 2012   #3
I've read hundred times and I don't know which part should be deleted, i've changed the introduction but there're still more than 300 words:

"Choosing a hostel is an extremely important factor while travelling. Therefore, it is necessary to select the most suitable hostel in order to have a complete happy holiday. In this essay..."

Do you see any grammatical error or any thing should be corrected?
fanmanga90 2 / 7  
Mar 6, 2012   #4
i think "it is necessary to select the most suitable hostel", its meaning is not very appropriate, u can write " it is very great when u select..."
OP Phat Tran Van 2 / 5  
Mar 6, 2012   #5
This is FORMAL ESSAY so "very", "you", "when" is not allowed
Thanks anyway!
fanmanga90 2 / 7  
Mar 6, 2012   #6
ok, u can replace when u willing show that
OP Phat Tran Van 2 / 5  
Mar 13, 2012   #7
Thank you a lot, i got 12/15. I've changed some from your advice. Again, thanks a lot!


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