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Essay to Compare and Contrast Two members of Your Family


Queenie31 1 / 1  
Apr 13, 2009   #1
I need help with finishing up this essay. The instructions are to compare and contrast two members of your family. I've gotten the basics down so far, I just need help continuing. It has to be at least 750 words, so far I have 349. Please Help Me!

This is the Essay Below:

My mom and dad are both great parents, but I prefer my mom more than my dad. Seeing my parents together you would think that they were the worst combination of people to be married. But after knowing them for a long time you would see that they have many things in common as well as many things that were different about them. My mom is easy going, very considerate, and is a very understanding person. My dad is the total opposite of all of that. He is mean, inconsiderate, and very selfish.

My mom is very supportive in anything that I choose to do within my life. She is always the person that I can rely on to help me financially, emotionally, and mentally. I never have a problem with approaching my mother about anything. When I decided to go away to college, my mom backed me up 100% and even offered to accompany me on my visit to the school. On the other hand my dad was against it. He felt as if I just wanted to get away from my responsibilities at home and go away to party and get wild. I have never been able to speak to my dad about anything, because he either shows no care at all, or he never tries to view anything from any other point of view. It's always about what he thinks or how he feels about a situation. He is also very stingy when it comes to his money. If I asked my dad for money to buy books he would tell to borrow them. But if I asked my mom for money to buy books she would give it to me, and if she didn't have it, she would work the extra hours just to make sure that she got it for me. My mom is someone that has all of her priorities straight. My dad on the other hand doesn't. He would give his friends his last meal before he gave it to his starving family.

Although my parents have many differences between them they are still very similar in certain things that they do. When it comes to finances both of my parents have the same mind set. They both have the same goals in life and they both want the same future for me. I can honestly say that they can both agree with my choice of studies in college. Another thing that is ironically the same about them is the fact that they both have similar jobs; which also points out the fact that they have the same interests. Both my mom and dad work in the same hospital in similar positions.

In conclusion, both my mom and dad are good but each person has different characteristics. Because my dad is impatient and less mature than my mom, and my mom is easier going, it complicates the way people view them individually. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it just shows how different people are. The way situations turn out between the two greatly depends on how well each person decides to handle it.

teelyons 2 / 8  
Apr 13, 2009   #2
Melissa,
good start to your paper. You might want to interview other people and get their view about your parents. Also, you may want to interview them together as well as separately about a specific topic. Other things to compare maybe as follows: The type of car they drive, the food the like or dislike. Also, do they share the same values and morals. Good luck.
OP Queenie31 1 / 1  
Apr 13, 2009   #3
Thank you so much. I wrote a little bit more while i was waiting for your feedback.
newsha31 19 / 75  
Apr 13, 2009   #4
i'm not that great with grammer but i think u might want to change some stuff, like:
"but I prefer my mom over my dad"

and if i were you i would change this sentece this way:
"you would see that they have many things in common as well as many oppositions."

this sentence here is a nice one and i like it, but i would delete the three last words:
" It's always about what he thinks or how he feels about a situation."

and for my last suggestion i think give the ending a shake. i like the idea of ppl being different, mybe u should point out how this makes ur life different or challenging or nice.

overall i thought it was a good essay, keep up the good work.

good luck :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,324 129  
Apr 14, 2009   #5
My mom and dad are both great parents, but I prefer my mom more than my dad.

Ahhh!! That is harsh. Parents are people, too. How would you like to have your mom say she prefers your sister over you!? You do not have to choose a preference. It's not all about you. Don't let your dad see the first draft of this essay! :) Also, why don't you get a part time job to help pay for your books, so that your mom does not have to work overtime?

As a compare/contrast essay, this is supposed to show similarities and differences, but right now you show only differences. Oops, I take that back; I see that you do cover similarities.

"Mindset" is one word.

Such complication isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it just shows how different people are.

How are you able to judge your dad as immature when he is so much older than you? You say that he thinks you just want to go party and shirk your responsibilities, and that he has good intentions for you. It sounds like he is the one who is tough on you, and your mom is the one who is more permissive. Naturally, you prefer the one who is permissive.

Please don't be offended; my job is to give my reaction to the essay, so that you know how it affects the reader. Now that I finished reading the essay, I realize that your dad might be so emotionally abusive and negligent that this essay is appropriately harsh. If that is the case, though, and you want to give such a harsh critique of your dad, I think it is important to back up those claims with evidence (for credibility). However, it is NOT necessary for you to focus the essay on your opinions of him or her; rather, focus on similarities and differences.

I have seen compare/contrast essays that give a point by point comparison, and I have seen compare/contrast essays that describe one of the things and then the other. Yours gives one para to differences and one to similarities, and that seems cool, too. I just think you should come to a better conclusion than just to say that you prefer one to the other. In fact, in your conclusion para, you do not even say that. Your whole last sentence should be cut out, because it does not make sense or relate to the comparison in the essay.

Draw a conclusion based on the dynamic teamwork of these two very different personalities.


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