Unanswered [10] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

COMPARE TRADITIONAL - MODERN FAMILY IN VIETNAM


mimichangchang 1 / -  
Sep 20, 2019   #1

the power of family values



Families play an integral part of the society whose ingredients are many types of families. As the society is changing day-to-day, diverse family types appear and give our lives more nuance, especially two clear types of families - a traditional and a modern one. These two types have plenty of differences and effects on the general public especially in an Oriental country like Vietnam. Firstly, the family size of two family types are unquestionably dissimilar. Simply called an extended family, a tradional family usually makes up of three or four generations living together: grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts, children which is different from a modern family just having a married couple and their children. Secondly, the childcare in a traditional family is better than one in a modern family because a traditional family has many people to take care of their children whereas a couple in a nuclear family need to arrange their schedules to work sensibly with a view to spending enough time for on the supervision of their children. Furthermore, the position of man in a family is not in sympathy. In a traditional family, grandfather is the most influential due to his authority of making all family decisions. On the contrary, a modern family always has an equality of gender which means men and women have the same rights and obligations in teaching children, both of them work outside and join hands to do household chores and care for the children. This major difference in the men's position in families has an impact on children's behaviors. If children live in extended families, they must obey all the instructions and determinations of their fathers or grandfathers while children live in nuclear families are able to express their feelings freely and decide whether they accept the decisions of adults or not. Finally, that a lot of generations live together is capable of making disputes and conflicts as well; the more members the family has, the more different in viewpoints and ideas, conversely, disagreements in a family with only two generations are few wherefore parents and children are easy to cater for each individuality. All in all, the most crucial thing is that family members are conscious of family values which are motive powers to enhance their spirituality in life no matter which types of families they are in.

Maria [Contributor] - / 1,068 380  
Sep 21, 2019   #2
@mimichangchang
Hey, welcome! I hope that you appreciate this feedback. If you like what you see in this forum, don't hesitate to approach us again and become an active member of this community.

First and foremost, I truly appreciate how compact the first portions of the essay are. This makes it easier to digest the core values of your text because of how composed the writing is. I recommend sticking to this formatting throughout to ensure that you are blending in with ease.

I commend how put-together your writing is in terms of grammatical fundamentals. You had quite a good grasp of grammar already, making it easier to see through your content.

Remember, though, that it is critical that you have a distinguishable set of content. Having appropriate lengths for your paragraphs would assist you immensely in ensuring that you are not over explaining. If you take a look at your text, it appears to be rather just one block of text. It would be nicer to stick with a more appropriate and conventional style of having a separate portion for the introduction, body, and paragraph. This will help you maximize your writing as well.


Home / Writing Feedback / COMPARE TRADITIONAL - MODERN FAMILY IN VIETNAM