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Writing IELTS Task 1: Compare Water Usage in San Diego, California and the Rest of the World


erwiin1 9 / 17  
Sep 28, 2016   #1
The graph illustrates the consumption 3 types water used (residential, industry, and agriculture) in 3 regions. The figures are compared to amounts of water used in San Diego, California, and worldwide.

As an overall trend, the two regions showed different water consumption from the worldwide average, while residential has the largest in San Diego and California. Agriculture has the largest consumption in the worldwide.

In particular, residential consumption was the highest in San Diego, accounting for 60%, which followed by industry at 23% or nearly a quarter, and agriculture at 17%.
Likewise, California used residential in the largest proportion of 39%. Industry showed a third of figure. Agriculture was used at 28%.
In the worldwide, both residential and industry were used the least in this period with percentages of 8% and 23% respectively. Agriculture used in the worldwide showed the largest proportion, nearly seven in tens of all consumption, or accounting for 69%.



Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Sep 28, 2016   #2
Hi erwin,after reading your summary, i have some suggestions, perhaps useful for you.
1.graph . ----> that is the pie chart, not graph.
2.Industry showed a third of figure . Agriculture was used at 28%. ----> figure is to general. maybe you can mention second pie chart.
3.The graph illustrates the consumption3 types water used (residential, industry, and agriculture) in 3 regions.----> not talking about many types of water, but what are used water for.
PHA2016 39 / 62 4  
Sep 28, 2016   #3
Hello Erwin,

The graph illustratesshows whichis the consumption 3 types (...) in 3 three regions. The figuresthere are compared to by amounts of ...

As an overall trend started to the two regions countries are showed different ... [pay attention in pluran and singular noun]

Likewise, California used residential in the largest ...
Agriculture was used at 28%. [avoid reduntant word, you mentioned 'used' twice you may write another word]

nb: in writing task 1:

Introduction, overall/summary
Body 1
explanation
Body 2
explanation

hope these help


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