Comparison between Adams Realty and Fitch Realty estate firms - GRE argument essay

Hi help me with the another argument essay. I would appreciate if you can score it on the level of 6.

-----------------------------------

Real Estate Sales

The author in the above letter suggested her friend to sell their home through Adams Realty estate firm which is superior to other Fitch Realty firm according to the author. However the author did not provide the warranted data for this assertion and thus makes the argument questionable.

Firstly the author claimed that the Adams Realty (AR) though having more real estate agents than Fitch Realty (FR) working full time is thus considered superior to FR. This assumption seems flawed as number of estate agents can not be considered as the criteria, but how efficiently and diligently one estate agent works matter. For an instance if one person is working full time but with less focus would come out with a low output as compared to a person who utilizes the time efficiently and brings the best in minimum time. The author should state the number of estate agents in each firm who are known to be the best agents with respect to loyalty, honesty and labor. Which firm gives guarantee or not and which firm follows the propriety. Who are the agents who remain nice to customers and can be easily contacted when needed and which firm does not provide the customer satisfaction. I would like to state here a saw : What matters is quality not the quantity".

Secondly the author claimed that Adams R. revenue last year was twice as high as that of FR including more average in home sales compared to FR. This is not a justified statement because the author did not mention the total sales by the firms instead the average amount. It is possible that the AR sold more homes in less price thus contributing to more average whereas FR sold less homes in better prices thus average is not that high. The author should provide the data referring to the number of the sales and what locations and what kind of homes being sold by the firms as many factors may result in the low average price. It could be due to difference in the house locations or the type and condition of home. The author should know what type of homes they sell and are the prices comparable or not if everything is same. The author should also check for the responses from the people whether they are satisfied or not and if any firm cheated on them with the less price.

Thirdly the author stated their personal opinion but did not mention other factors which may prove unfavorable while they listed their home with FR. It is possible that the time of listing with the FR. was not so auspicious and there were low sales in the market. It is also possible that the house sold through FR was less furnished and in least favorable location which led to delay in sale plus the low price. The author did not mention whether the home sold through Adams R. was more furnished or located at a very good place or not which could be the reason for a good price and fast selling. Furthermore it is possible that the same home would be sold at a higher price if sold through FR . The author should be clear about the type and other amenities provided by the home before comparison.

In a summary I would say that it is possible that the author is right about the AR but the author should provide more information about the type of homes sold through both firms and which firm works more efficiently to substantiate the argument.

I think your arguments are valid but my one comment would be that you introduce your arguments in your first paragraph, repeat your thesis in every supporting paragraph and restate your thesis again in your conclusion. In my experience of the GRE the higher scores tend to repeat the same information relentlessly.

I appreciate that your essay is structured very clearly and has indicator words that introduce what you're talking about.

Are you doing this essay timed? I don't think there is anything wrong with your arguments but what is the most challenging with the GRE essays is thinking about arguments about a random topic with a short amount of time. I highly suggest you practice churning out arguments about random topics within a 3 minute time interval. Since the topics are listed in the GRE website, it'll give you an opportunity to think about topics you've never otherwise had an opinion about.