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Comparison of the changes of three main exports in Southland - IELTS


somasalims 15 / 27 5  
Mar 4, 2015   #1
The bar chart compares the changes of three main exports in Southland between 2000, 2015, and prediction for 2025. It is measured in billion pound sterling. It is noticeable that there is an increase in total off main exports from 2000 to 2015 whilst 2025 will witness a slight fall of the exports.

International tourism and dairy products experience a rise in 2015 compared in 2000. By 2000, the amount of international tourism had stood at roughly £8 billion, while approximately £7 billion were shown by which of dairy products.

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  • Southland main export in 2000, 2015, and 2025

dquinlan11 - / 16 7  
Mar 4, 2015   #2
First paragraph is a little choppy with the "billion pounds sterling" sentence. Try incorporating it with the first sentence like, "The bar chart, shown in units of billion pounds sterling, compares..." Also, the last sentence could use a little restructuring: "While there is a noticeable increase in total off main..., predictions indicate that 2025 will see a slight fall of exports..."

In comparing the data, I would suggest initially calling out the trends that occur for each year, then substantiate that with the exact numbers, similar to how you have it above. For example, "International tourism has been on the rise... ; however, dairy and meat products are generally showing signs of decline...." This will give the reader some helpful context to your paragraphs before getting into the weeds of the numbers.

Hope this helps!
autumn_waltz 8 / 14 2  
Mar 19, 2015   #3
International tourism and dairy products experience a rise in 2015 compared inwith the 2000 level

By 2000, the amount of international tourism had stood at roughly £8 billion, (while approximately £7 billion were shown by which of dairy products) while dairy products accounted for £7 billion

Furthermore, with a rise of nearly £1 billion, the total index of global tourism increases to about £9 billion...

However, (that) the export value of meat products has decreased from £6 billion to £5.5 billion for 15 years.
andi_83 - / 9 5  
Mar 19, 2015   #4
A few suggestions for improvement below.

Exports of International tourism and dairy products experience a rise in 2015 compared in 2000. By 2000, the amount of international tourism stood at roughly £8 billion, while the level of exports of dairy products was approximately £7 billion. Furthermore, with a rise of nearly £1 billion, the total exports of international tourism increases to about £9 billion, whereas a dramatic rise is recorded in the exports of dairy products, around £10 billion in 2015. However, meat products exports have decreased from £6 billion to £5.5 billion during these 15 years.

On the other hand, a decrease will be witnessed in dairy products and meat products exports, while international tourism will experience an increase in 2025. The year will record a decrease of around £0.5 billion of dairy products (£9.5 billion) and meat products exports(£5 billion). By far, one of the highest amounts of main exports will be experienced by international tourism (roughly £10 billion).


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