Comparison Essay
My teacher said that I need a lot of work on this. I really don't know where to start, she said that this is a "D" paper. She has given me time to revise.
I would appreciate any help.
Thank you,
Dee
Not all Italian restaurants serve the same Italian style food or provide the same atmosphere for their customers. Olive Garden is a nice Italian restaurant that serves its purpose of satisfying your taste buds of wanting an Italian fix. The service is either steady and fast or down right slow. If you do not time your dinner just right, you could wait 1 - 2 hours just to get seated. If you are craving Italian it will cure the fix, but not leave you wanting to come back the next day for a repeat. The menu has brightly colored pictures of what the entrée will look like and that is reassuring for someone like me that does not like to take a risk of trying the unknown. The setting is either booths or tables that are very clean with crisply folded linen napkins and festive Italian music playing through out the restaurant. When prepared well, the food tastes very good but all of the food has the same taste. The employees here seem to just be there for the paycheck, they don't seem excited by their job. The prices are very reasonable with most entrees costing around $12.00-$14.00. I will continue to go to Olive Garden when I crave Italian and I am near the restaurant. Compared to real Italian food, Olive Garden can be compared to McDonalds for American food. We tend to call Olive Garden, McItalian.
D'Giovonni's is so much more relaxing and the food is authentic unlike Olive Garden. Reservations are allowed, so there is really never a wait to get in. The food melts in your mouth. The food taste so good that you want to take your time and savor every bite. The portions are double of that of any other restaurant. There is always another left over for lunch and dinner for the following day. The setting is small and along the waters edge, so there is a scenic view so those that are done eating tend to stay around for awhile just to take in the breath taking views of the boats coming in and out of dock. The tables are covered in maroon linens with candles set in the middle of each table. Every employee takes a special pride in their job at D'Giovonni's and it clearly shows. The owner comes out and personally goes around to each table to see if you are pleased with the service and the food. The employee's seem happy to be there to assist you and if you want to make an adjustment to an entrée that is on the menu they will do their best to accommodate you, even if this means bringing out the chief who is from Italy to talk to you personally. You would think since the chief is from Italy the food would be more expensive. However, that is not the case; the food ranges from $14.00-$18.00 per entrée. Considering the experience of the chief I think the cost is a steal. You get an amazing meal and you get to take in amazing sunsets on the Chesapeake Bay.
Greetings!
It would be helpful if I knew why she thinks it is a D paper; that seems a bit harsh. It does have some punctuation mistakes and a few awkward phrasings, but overall, is a pretty good essay. I will show you some places that need help:
Olive Garden is a nice Italian restaurant that servesits purpose of satisfying your taste buds of wanting an Italian fix. - The part in bold is awkward; better would be something like "that serves its purpose: satisfying the craving for Italian, when no other kind of food will do."
The service is either steady and fast or downright slow.
If you are craving Italian it will provide the fix, but not leave you wanting to come back the next day for a repeat. The menu has brightly colored pictures of what the entrée will look like and that is reassuring for someone like me who does not like to take a risk with the unknown. The setting is either booths or tables that are very clean with crisply folded linen napkins and festive Italian music playing throughout the restaurant.
The employees seem to be there just for the paycheck; they don't seem excited by their job.
Olive Garden is to "real" Italian what McDonald's is to authentic American food. My family tends to call Olive Garden, "McItalian." (Wouldn't "McTalian" sound better?)
Unlike Olive Garden,D'Giovonni's is much more relaxing and the food is authentic.
The portions are double that of any other restaurant. There are always leftovers for lunch and dinner the following day. The restaurant is small and sits along the water's edge. Diners who have finished eating tend to stay around for awhile just to take in the breathtakingviews of the boats coming in and out of dock.
Every employee takes a special pride in working at D'Giovonni's and it clearly shows. [Saying "working" instead of "in their job" avoids the problem of the the singular "employee" and plural "their.]
The employees [apostrophes make words possessive, not plural] seem happy to be there to assist you and if you want to make an adjustment to an entrée that is on the menu they will do their best to accommodate you, even if this means bringing out the chef to talk to you personally. You would think that because the chef is from Italy the food would be more expensive.
Considering the chef's experience, the cost is a steal. You get a delightful meal and the amazing sunsets on the Chesapeake Bay, all for a reasonable price.
I hope this helps make your teacher happier! :-)
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
My teacher said this about my paper:
*What will you be comparing after the the final line about Olive Garden.
*There isn't an introduction to the essay
*There is no conclusion
Those were the remarks on my paper.
Can you help me out with those issues?
Thank you for your previous help. I am very thankful for your help.
Thank You,
Dee
Greetings!
I suppose the lack of introduction is because you do not make it clear from the first that it is a comparison essay. You just begin talking about Olive Garden. Try adding something like this: "Not all Italian restaurants serve the same Italian style food or provide the same atmosphere for their customers. Two restaurants which have very different approaches to Italian food are Olive Garden and D'Giovonni's. While both have their good points, when it comes to a comparison of the two, there really is no comparison: D'Giovonni's wins, hands down."
Then, you can start your next paragraph talking about Olive Garden. You might want to start it off with a sentence that makes a good lead-in from the introduction: "The first demerit on the Olive Garden score card is the service. While it can be steady and quick, it can also be downright slow."
I think your teacher's first comment refers to a lack of transition from talking about Olive Garden to talking about D'Giovonni's. That's why I added "Unlike Olive Garden..."
Your conclusion will be a paragraph very similar to your opening one. It sums up the major points and again states the main point the reader should come away with, namely, that the better restaurant of the two for great Italian cuisine is D'Giovonni's. (Are you sure about the spelling? I would have thought it would be "D'Giovanni's.")
I hope this helps!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
