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A comparison of the local official's spending annually in several lands in 1980, 1990, and 2000


rizal 1 / 2  
Nov 30, 2016   #1
The three pie charts compare the changes in annual spending by local government in several lands in 1980, 1990 and 2000. Overall, the higher eduction always in a highest level in all of the period. It was contrastable with environmental services, where it was standing in the second position from above.

The higher education was standing in the first position with percentage 35% in 1980. In a decade, it increased to 45% in 1990, and in 2000, it decreased to 40%. K-12 education was standing in the second position with proportion 25% in 1980, and other part such as transportation (16%), health and human recources (14%) in 1980. Transportation had sharply decreasing to 6% in 1990, but it increased to 20% in 2000.

Environmental services was the lowest position with proportion 4% in 1980. In 1990, it increased with percentage to 5%, and it increased again to 9% in 2000. It was a positive trend, that was increased in every decade.

krempetkov 13 / 29 6  
Nov 30, 2016   #2
Overall, the higher eduction always in a ... - ...the higher education have always stayed/stood at the highest level over the period.

It was contrastable with environmental services, where it was standing in the second position from above - without the charts, i am not able to edit that part of your report, but it definitely requires some work. First, the grammatical structure looks poor, as well as the overall meaning, which from my point of view looks very difficult to understand.

The higher education was standing in [...] 2000, it decreased to 40% - try to use variety of grammatical structures and describing words to put emphasis on the occurring changes.

In a decade, it increased to 45%, while 10 years later a small decrease has been experienced by the higher education's proportion, as it went down to 40%.

and other part such as transportation (16%), (...) (14%) in 1980. (what about them? in the. In the first part of your sentence, you just present a fact, so there is no correlation between the two parts.)

Transportation had sharply decreasing -- .. decreased

Environmental services was the lowest position ... --- ...received the lowest proportion of spendings with only 4% of the whole sum.

Boost you vocabulary - you've used "increase" in every possible occasion. Try using verbs like - exceed, rise, go up.

Also, in order to emphasis on the changes occurring throughout, use proper adjectives - like approximately, extremely, dramatically...


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