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Comparison of the society growth and urban areas

hanasufiarahma 3 / 4  
Dec 30, 2016   #1
The line graph illustrates society growth from 1800 to 2100, and the bar charts measure the population of urban in developed and developing areas. Overall, the highest world society on global and developing regions in 2040. However, the developed regions more or less stable.

In 1800, the number of society stood at 1000 millions of people and increased gradually until 1960. Moreover, it had inclined dramatically to 8000 millions of people in 2040. Then, the graph experienced decreased in the following six decades from approximately 8000 to 6500.

On the other hand, figure of the developing regions populations started at more or less 2300 millions of people and steadily inclined until 2040 with an increase less than 500 millions of people per years.

Despite, Developing areas and Global population have the same peak in 2040, their are different of the number of started point and at the end of the period. Furthermore, the developed countries had the same number at approximetely 1200 between 2015 and 2040.

lynzee22 - / 90 37  
Dec 30, 2016   #2

Overall, the content of this essay is good and understandable. You draw information from the graphs well and break up your ideas correctly. Your biggest issue here is grammar. I have given a few examples of things that can be corrected below. I hope this helps.

For example, the sentence, ... is an incomplete sentence. It should read "Overall, the societies with the highest populations are predicted to be developing regions in 2040."

... should read:

"On the other hand, the figure depicting developing regions started at around 2,300 million people and steadily inclines until 2040 with an increase of less than 500 million people per year."

"Millions of people" should be changed to "(number) million people". "Millions of people" is used for non-exact numbers but when you have the exact number, you should say "(number) million people".

You should say "despite this,..." rather than "despite,..."

Also watch out for period usage, capital letters, missing words, etc.

Good luck!

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