Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

A comparison of total units of electricity produce by five sources between 1980 and 2010


Wilyaftika23 46 / 37 1  
Nov 19, 2016   #1
The pie charts below show electricity generation by source in New Zealand and Germany in 1980 and 2010.

A comparison of total units of electricity generation by source between 1980 and 2010 covered by units in New Zealand and Germany is revealed in the four pie charts. Overall it is immediately apparent that New Zealand and Germany had four and five sources of electricity generation respectively. Besides, in 2010, there was a rapid incline of total of unit for each countries which coal dominated in New Zealand while Nuclear was main source In Germany.

To begin with, between 1980 and 2010, there were a significant rise for each units. In New Zealand, the number of hydro and coal increased extremely by 16 and 94 respectively. Differently, the number of hydro decreased steeply and coal was stable at five and 28 unit's particularly in Germany. Besides, Germany had nuclear as the biggest sources which rose rapidly to 155 units in 2010. And it was higher than coal as a major source in New Zealand in 2010.

On the other hand, from 1980 to 2010, there were an extreme fall for each units. Natural gas and petroleum dropped sharply with similar number to two units in 2010 in New Zealand. Similarly, in Germany Natural gas declined extremely by 26 while coal inclined steeply to 27 units. In addition, natural gas in Germany and New Zealand had the same number in 2010, but petroleum in New Zealand was lower than in Germany in 2010.


  • question

nurainiyusuf16 47 / 83 6  
Nov 19, 2016   #2
Hello willy!
Allow me to give you some suggestion.

A comparison of total units of electricity ...

Look at my suggestion below:
A comparison of the electricity generation by source in New Zealand and Germany between 1980 and 2010 covered by units is revealed in the four pie charts.

Punctuation
Overall, it is immediately apparent ...

Look at my suggestion below:
there was a rapid incline in the total of units for each countries ...

..., there were a significant rise ...

there were an extreme fall ...

a significant rise: singular
an extreme: singular

It should be "was"

Hope it helps you, break a leg!
ReskiRamadani88 43 / 57 5  
Nov 19, 2016   #3
Hello:
Check your sentence;

... between 1980 and 2010 covered by units(because you have explained about total unit, i think this clause is not needed) in New Zealand and ...

Overall (,) it is(was)immediately apparent that ...
Besides, in 2010, there was a rapid incline of total of unittotal units for each countries which , coal was dominated in New ...

Your essay is 233 word, it is too much


Home / Writing Feedback / A comparison of total units of electricity produce by five sources between 1980 and 2010