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Competition and Co-operation should be there moderately ;IELTS


mcuong01 12 / 24 3  
Dec 20, 2012   #1
Prompt
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Essay
Many parents are in two minds of whether children should be promoted to compete or co-operate with those around them. In my opinion, both competition and co-operation to a moderate extent are useful for children in shaping their future attitude and lifestyle.

First of all, no one can deny that competition is a prime factor continually encouraging people to develop themselves with the hope of climbing to higher and more powerful positions. In fact, students have to equip themselves with working experience and skills, which are rarely taught in colleges, if they are to take a perfect job after graduating. Nevertheless, children might become selfish on account of being unable to accept themselves standing in the second rank. Furthermore, some families desiring their relatives as successful as possible create so pressure on them that a large number of pupils nowadays have no enough time to entertain and in some worse cases end up with suicide.

Similarly, co-operation does not play a less vital role in motivating us to improve and enhance ourselves with the aim of acquiring success together. Actually, it is largely due to team-works that the human race has seen numerous wonderful achievements in both science and many other areas. In spite of this, I hold the view that such achievements would never have existed unless groups have competed to each.

In brief, not only competition but also co-operation should be promoted in children provided that families need to avoid or reduce their hazards to the lowest extent.

(250 words)
joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Dec 20, 2012   #2
Hai...

Pupil nowadays have no enough time ==> not enough time.

Though your essay meet the word strength of 250 words, In first glance, it feel the strength is below 250words. A busy examiner, may not have enough patience to count the word strength. I personally feel you can put two sentences in each para, which may feel the essay more heavy..

Tessy.
Frenzyzqq 2 / 4  
Dec 24, 2012   #3
i guess unless groups have competed to each means ''unless groups have cooperated with each other.''
by the way, its my own opinion that the importance of cooperation has not been fully developed.


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