'Competitive life' - Ielts essay

Subject: some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

From the beginning of the creation, psychologically and biologically life have been competitive. Some people think co-operation approach is play important role of nurturing children. but ,other believe competition skill is much significant. While it have been belief that children who taught to co-operate will become more useful adults. Now in this essay I will examine both views.

Unfortunately competition usually mean wrongly. Majority of people make mistake between meaning of competition to win and destroy each other to reach their coals ,Though; blind competition is destructive. For instance healthy competition in different fields make success of science and technology.

Researches which is done recently have illustrated that mankind can not live without co-operation. Co-operate helps people to success , It helps children learn how to help each other and it is the edge of teamwork. For example a person can not build a house alone so co-operation is as important as competition.

To come to conclusion competition and co-operation are two sides of the same coin. children must be taught to co-operate and they should learn healthy competition and when this two followed together anyone can easily become successful.

Some people think co-operation approach is plays an important role of nurturingcultivating values inchildren in order to build a peaceful and harmonious society. B ut ,others believe thatone needs competitivecompetition skillsis much significantnot only for survival but also for standing out others too.While it have been belief that children who taught to co-operate will become more useful adults. Now in this essay I will examine both viewsIn my view, I believe that children should be encourged to co-orperate as well as to learn healty competition

Express your opinion about the argument in the introduction itself. It's better to avoid sentences like what I have bolded.

hi.
i have seen your paper you should make it more effective by pros and cons .

thank u so much dumi.

thank you writersmyth
what do you mean about "make it more effective by pros and cons"
can you give me an example please?