Some people believe that competitive sport, both team and individual, have no place in the school curriculum.
How far do you agree or disagree?
Physical education is very essential in the school curriculum. Sometimes competition sports teams and individuals also consider adding to program education. I think students should be getting used to competitive sport.
To begin with, competition among students will have chances to try to be more successful than their friends. Moreover, they can show up the ability and boost self - confident. For example, students take part in the football club, they will spend on time practicing with a partner to repair for competition, where the student will show up and define themself with everyone.
Secondly, competition sports help the student do their best to win in a few work likely they are playing competitive sport. The teenager will make a special effort not to lose their friends. For example, in the examination, students do not want to lower points than their classmates, so they will effort and compete like play competitive sports if they do not want to be defeat.
On the other hand, the student plays competitive sport have a few harms for them namely injured or having a conflict among student. Competition sports always come with eager to win, so they will use every trick to take out the opponent. As a result, sports competitively always hidden dangers. So that, when participants a sports the players should be careful.
In a nutshell, competitive sports in the school curriculum create opportunities for students to try their best and effort with their goals. Besides, they can confidence with their ability and get used to the competitive workplace in the future
In general I think the structure is clear. You give brief introduction of the topic and offer your opinion, and there are also adequate ideas to support the essay. However grammar errors and wrong collocations make some sentences confusing. In second paragraph it should be " competition among students will provide them with chances to try to be more successful than...". Students are the one who have the opportunities, not competition.
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When you write an extent essay, you need to first think of whether you agree with the topic. Once you figure out which opinion you support, think of the reasons why you support that opinion. Then pick the strongest opinion that you have and use that for the extent response. The format should be:
I agree/ disagree with this opinion to the degree that
I agree / disagree with this idea to the degree that this discussion...
Always give the topics that you will be using to support your opinion in the outline of the response. Make sure that you use strong convincing words in your presentation. That means I think, perhaps, maybe, or any words of uncertainty cannot be used in the presentation. Neither should you use a comparison discussion for the 4 paragraph essay. You must focus only on the convincing support or defense of your opinion in the 2 reasoning presentation paragraphs.