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IELTS TASK 2 Writing - Compulsory military service for unemployed youth

roswita116 16 / 37 17  
Sep 21, 2019   #1
The youth in many countries are unemployed and unskilled, where at the same time, the military services are in need of people. Compulsory military service is beneficial and necessary.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

military activity for youngsters

The issue of whether the teenagers must join the essential army service or not is certainly a controversial topic. Despite some people argued that it is pros outweighed cons.I personally disagree with that. The following examples will illustrate my point of views.

Firstly, based on the economic value,army facilities can be replaced human beings not only for the duration of function but also the expanse. In one word, it can fulfill the demands of people. For example, government can purchase the high-tech tank or automatic weapon which is controlled by machine and they can be operated properly more than a real human being. In addition, a well-trained army takes around 3 to 5 years to finish their training while the automatic weapon can be operated right after we purchased it. Moreover, citizens need to pay for a well-trained army salary until he passes away. In my opinion,I would like to pay tax for long-term used facilities rather than an army.

Secondly, I generally believe that teenagers should attend schools to acquire knowledge instead of join military. As like the topic mentioned about, most of the children in the world are without occupations and talents for employment and join military cannot provide them a well education to gain more practical skills to find a proper job. For instance, a study showed that a teenager who joined military did not acquire any general knowledge while the others who went to school obtained a numerous skill from educational center and they found a proper job afterward. It goes without saying that joining the compulsory military service for children is not beneficial for them, instead, it is a somewhat negative.

In summary, I once again reaffirm my position that I disagree necessary military activity is positive and essential for teenagers. On the contrary, I believe that it is not an appropriate way to do so based on economic value and the importance of education for youth.

quavius 3 / 4 2  
Sep 21, 2019   #2
hey there, I think you're on the right track with this essay and a few key improvements can be made.
First, your intro is almost too short. Start off with an example or story that corresponds with your viewpoint.
Second, you take a very polarizing stance on what teens should do after school. reword this to explain your position better and cite the source that you talk about.

Hope that helps!
Estelle133 2 / 5  
Sep 22, 2019   #3
I think this topic is needed care, which you took interest. If you have more time, you should expand matter. Such as what should young people do interval instead of idle away time.

Gook luck!

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