Unanswered [10] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6

IELTS TASK 1 : Computer ownership - From 2002 to 2010


upinipin 32 / 49 1  
Apr 30, 2014   #1
The graphs show computer ownership compare with computer ownership by education level as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010.

Computer ownership as long as 8 years increases sharply depend on level education. As development time, computer ownership increase according computer user.

In 2002 computer ownership for level no high school diploma about 15%. And then, the data increased sharply about 42% in 8 years. High school graduate for computer belongs in 2002 about 39%. This number increased sharply in 2010 at 78%. Computer ownership for college in 2002 was approximately 59%. And then, increased sharply in 2010 was about 90%.

In 2002 computer ownership for bachelor's degree more increased sharply about 20% than college. In 2010 bachelor's degree computer belongs rose step by step 93%. Postgraduate qualification computer belongs in 2002 about 82%. And then, in 2010 postgraduate qualification computer belong rose step by step about 95%.

To conclude, computer ownership in 8 years increased sharply about 20% and increased based on level education.






fikri 5 / 317 71  
Apr 30, 2014   #2
please check all structures of your sentences here, you missed verb in most of your sentences

this is a big mistake because subject and verb is the most important point in a sentence,

you may re-write this report
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
May 1, 2014   #3
The graphs showpresent details of computer ownership between the period of 2002 and 2010 and compare with computer ownership bybased on the level of education level as a percentage of the population betweenin 2002 and 2010.

You should introduce the graphs with very specific time frames. They are very very important in this task :)
Eva Novita Sari 47 / 71 2  
May 1, 2014   #4
In 2002 computer ownership for level no high school diploma about 15%[/quote].... there is not verb. you should put verb after subject
BOMAT_IRA 29 / 40  
May 1, 2014   #5
Computer ownership as long as 8 years increases sharply depend on level education.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
May 13, 2014   #6
Single graphs
Introduction: Here you sould state what the graph shows
short body paragraph: state the most improtant piece of information here (summary/overview)
main body paragraphs: Here you need to make comparisons and state the important features of the graphs (usually 2 paragraphs)

Double graphs
Introduction: Write one sentence, but introduce each chart separately e.g "This first bart chart shows..., and the second chart illustrates

Short body:
Write 2 sentences. If the information in the charts is not connected, find one main point or general trend for each chart. If the charts are connected, try to make comparisons

Main body paragprahs: If the two charts are completely different (e.g. a graph and a table), write a separate paragraph about each.
If the charts are the same, and show the same information (e.g. 2 pie charts), do not describe them separately, the examiner will want to see comparisons.

In this case, you could write one paragraph describing all of the information, but it is still more preferable to write two paragraphs because it makes the essay look more organized


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : Computer ownership - From 2002 to 2010