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Should computer skills be added to primary subjects in elementary school? - IELTS WRITING TASK 2


tramy02 1 / -  
Dec 9, 2021   #1
Hello everyone. I would be really thankful if you could give me some feedback and/or a score based on IELTS criteria on my answer for this IELTS Writing Task 2:

Some people say that computer skills should be added to primary subjects in elementary school such as reading, writing and math.

How far do you agree or disagree?



My answer:
It is said that computer skills ought to be included in the elementary curriculum as one of the key subjects. Personally, I completely approve of this opinion and this essay will explain the reasons supporting my view.

To begin with, technology has now played an indispensable role in our modern life. It is clear that technology has infiltrated every aspect of our life, changing how we learn, how we work and so on. Some occupations are even predicted to disappear in the future since robots may undertake those jobs instead of humans. As a result, learning computer skills at an early age could benefit children in their vocational paths as they will be equipped with computer techniques, which would be probably one of the paramount criteria when they apply for jobs.

Moreover, knowing how to use computers enables pupils to access a wider information source through the internet, which facilitates their development in other subjects as well. Various types of information cannot be published in the forms of books or newspapers. In addition, getting knowledge only from those kinds of documents might be costly as people have to buy every single one for information. With the help of technology, it is much more straightforward and cheaper as well. For instance, pupils are able to find a huge amount of information about a specific topic with just a few clicks of a computer mouse.

To sum up, I strongly believe that it is advisable to integrate computer skills into the elementary curriculum as one of the main subjects due to the advantages that it brings to pupils.

Thank you so much!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,672 4113  
Dec 9, 2021   #2
We do not publicly score IELTS practice tests as the scores are meant for private assessment purposes. You may contact us privately for scoring services which include a far more intricate review of your essay. That said, you will still be able to judge how well you did or did not do with this current piece of writing based on the general advice provided.

and this essay will explain the reasons supporting my view.

What the examiner is looking for when he reads your opinion sentence is the basic reason behind it. Why do you believe your opinion is correct? Tell him about the reason for your view in a single sentence. The reviewer does not need to know that you will be explaining the reasons for your view, that is a given based on the instructions provided. The prompt + restatement should always clearly state:

- The topic based on the writer's understanding
- The public reason based on the writer's interpretation
- The (extent) opinion of the writer
- The reason(s) for the writer's opinion ( 2 topics maximum to cover the 2 reasoning paragraphs). This will be the thesis statement for the discussion paragraphs.

Following this format, you will achieve a better task score.

learning computer skills at an early age could benefit children in their vocational paths

This is the actual topic for this paragraph. It should be presented as the anchor sentence / first sentence in the paragraph. The topic focus for the paragraph should come before the explanation. You cannot present your reasons first, then the topic after. The examiner bases the clarity of your paragraph on the topic anchor. So always anchor the topic first. Your explanation was good. It just was not placed in the correct position for it to bring a cohesive clarity to your paragraph. You did a better job of explaining your reason in the second paragraph. It has an anchor topic presented at the beginning.

To sum up

Your summation is only 33 words. The requirement for this section is at least 40 words. What is missing is the restatement of your 2 reasons. Give a quick run-down of your reasons to meet the word requirement for this paragraph and also, prove that you are capable of delivering an effective reverse paraphrase to the examiner.


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