Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0] - SERVICES
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

IELTS Writing Task 2: Should computer skills be included in education?


minhtung97 1 / -  
Apr 10, 2019   #1
For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing, and math. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skills be made as the fourth skill to the list. To what extent do you agree?

SHOULD INCLUDE COMPUTER SKILLS IN EDUCATION

Answer:

Since older times, education has focused upon developing and enhancing students' reading, writing and math skills. These skills build up students' foundation of knowledge thus prepare them for more complicated subjects. To uphold this purpose of education, some people propose the idea of including computer skills into the table as computers are dominating the modern world. I strongly agree with this point of view.

Computers have made our lives easier and more efficient in a lot of aspects. As in the aspect of education, computer implement encourages students to use its applications and websites to support learning. For instance, My English Lab is a website that enables students to create an account and practice appropriate English exercises. This website also gives teachers an interface to track the progress of each student based on exercises completed by them. All these helpful functions of the web can only be exploited if students know how to use a computer.

As in the aspect of work, computers have become one of the main mediums for working and communicating at work. For working, computers provide us a wide range of useful applications which made our jobs easier and done faster such as MS Office, Photoshop. For the latter department, computers make e-mails available. This tool sends messages and files to receivers in an instant. Thus, it is now a standard for official communication. Because of these reasons, companies usually seek individuals with qualified knowledge of computer skills.

After having discussed the most relevant advantages of computers in our modern life, it can be clearly seen that the addition of computer skills in education will benefit students in the long run.

coke 13 / 27 13  
Apr 11, 2019   #2
Hello minhtung97
I agree with the reasons given in your writing. You should make it clearer at the topic sentence in the body paragraphs.
In body 2, you should state that students should improve computer skills along with literacy and numeracy as companies are prioritizing computer-literate candidates in today's job market. Then you can continue elaborate with your points.

I don't know whether calling 'English Lab' is correct or not, but it sounds kinda odds. The word 'laboratory' usually refers to scientific research location. So maybe think of using other substitution such as institution or school.
trvaanh 5 / 10 1  
Apr 13, 2019   #3
I think you should use more linking words to start your paragraphs for examples Firstly, Secondly, In conclusion to make your points clearer.
Also, it had been better add some more sentences in your conclusion in order to balance the opening and the ending.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Should computer skills be included in education?