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Computer technology. Work and study from home. Positive or negative?


thunguyen92 2 / 5 2  
Sep 29, 2019   #1

the number of home-workers or learners is rising



Thanks to the easily accessible and inexpensive connection of computer, there is an acceleration in the number of home-worker and home-learner nowadays. From my perspective, despite numerous benefits which stem from this convenience, i hold a belief that it is a negative development.

To begin with, the high-speed and time-saving are two most striking advantages of computer technology. With the available of Internet connection, a meeting or discussion can be held just by a click. Students can expand their studying sources apart from lecturers at school. In addition, it is also an useful way for people to save their time. The interval for transporting from home to work place or school can be eradicated while people can take advantages of using computer. Working or studying seems to be at people's fingertips with the support of computer technology.

Although people can be beneficial due to this development, I believe that its disadvantages significantly outstrip. The lack of interpersonal communication is an inevitable problem. There would be no face-to-face conversations if people became sedentary and glue their eyes to computer screen. What is more, the effectiveness of work or studying is in a scarce secure. Take manual work as an example. Blue-collar workers should be trained by practical training sessions rather than online training courses. The similar pattern may be true with students. If it were not for teacher's support at class, they can not only rely on the Internet source for studying because of its unreliable information.

In conclusion, it is positive for the general population to make use of technology for their own benefits. However, I think this development exert more negative impacts on society.
Maria - / 1,098 389  
Sep 30, 2019   #2
@thunguyen92
Hey, welcome to the forum! I'm here to provide you with feedback on your writing. I hope this somehow helps you.

Firstly, the introductory portion is sufficient. I would only recommend that you utilize more practical terms that'll make your essay appear a lot more grounded. Doing this would definitely save you space and time in writing with efficiency. Take a glance at your first paragraph. There's certainly ways for you to compress the last sentence.

Furthermore, it would be better if you had more concrete examples that'll vividly demonstrate your thoughts and opinions. If we take a look at the second paragraph, you could have demonstrated properly by picturing how people can "take advantage of using computer". Instead of mentioning it like this, go direct to an example of how people have taken advantage of it. What are the ways that the computer has contributed to making our lives easier in the long-run? The same goes for the third paragraph.

The conclusive remarks were left at a rather stand-still mode. I would opt that you do not end your essay with vague sentences as it leaves more questions than it clarifies your content.


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