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Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years.


Bui Chu Uyen 1 / 2  
Sep 26, 2018   #1
this is the writing task 2 in Ielts exam. Hope to receive your comments

to make the best use of computers



Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent years, Computer became one thing may not lack. it meets people's demand not only for working and studying but also giving a hand to human's entertainment. Some hold the view that the computer is the most important creation of the last hundred years. While others are of the opinion that the computer may play the particular role in the natural lifer but it is not the best thing which people found out in the past. The purpose of this essay is to discuss and analyze the two views mentioned above in depth and give my own opinion.

To begin with, it seems that the first view is not justified because of many reasons. Firstly, it is clear that computers cannot uses without energy. The energy in here is electric which is the resources people use nowadays. From that, we can see it is not the major invention. Besides that, we cannot ignore some kind of medicines which help people overcome many diseases and must not face the death. Let thinking, if they catch of major disease how can the survived to invent if they do not have the medicines for dealing with the troubles.

As far as the second view is concerned, it seems that this view is much more convincing. Taking the electric was mention in the first view as a point to analyze for this view. At now at that time, electric always presence in human's life, electric are now used in all aspects of our life. Thanks to this power, people can do everything easier no matter where they live or how old they are is no longer a challenge. In addition, having many the inventions in the past make the life now become more modern such as vehicles, nuclear energy.

To sum up, every single invention has the particular mission and play the individual role. In my opinion, no invention is more important. The thing important is how people can make the best use of with the things that they created.

Holt - / 7,529 2001  
Sep 27, 2018   #2
Uyen, this essay will automatically fail in the actual test because you are not discussing it based on the given instructions. This is an extent essay. You are discussing a 2 point of view + personal opinion essay. Your TA score will be 1 because your response is totally unrelated to the task. To be clear, let me outline the mistake for you below:

Original Prompt Question: To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Your Response: The purpose of this essay is to discuss and analyze the two views mentioned above in depth and give my own opinion.


The mistake can be clearly seen in the above comparison. The expected response is "I completely/totally/partially agree/disagree with this statement" or any variation of that presentation in terms of a response.

Your coherence and cohesiveness along with your GRA score will also not be in the passing range as your C&C and GRA scores will be along the lines of a 3 because of the lack of an organized paragraph presentation. Your GRA score is the same because of your problems with sentence formation that create a problem for the reader when it comes to understanding what you are trying to say. The paragraphs have distorted meanings due to your lack of expertise in the use of English vocabulary. These all lead to an LR score of 3 as well. This score is based on your lack of control over word formation that end up delivering a confusing statement to the reader.

Don't feel defeated. This is only the start of your road to improvement. This first assessment has helped us to figure out what your weak points are when it comes to task 2 essay writing. So you will know which aspects to improve upon when not writing practice tests. That way, you will be able to show an improvement when you present your second essay for review. I strongly suggest that you download apps that can help you with sentence structure and vocabulary exercises so that you can improve those problem points a bit before you write your next practice essay. That practice should help you develop a more improved presentation the next time around.
OP Bui Chu Uyen 1 / 2  
Sep 27, 2018   #3
thank you so much for your suggestion. Vocabulary is the big problem for me now. I will try as much as possible. Thank you!!


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