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[Writing task 2] Computers are becoming essential part of education. Pros & cons


phuongviet911 1 / -  
Jan 6, 2022   #1
Computers are becoming essential part of education.

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion



Education has evolved a great deal since the introduction of computers to the students. Computers have given a lot of benefits both for teachers and students but there are also drawbacks to be taken into account.

Firstly, one benefit of providing computers in education is that students can access a lot of valuable information for their study. With the help of computers connecting to the internet, students can find useful information about their projects, assignments and also can take useful help from other researchers as they store and organize their research materials in computers. Secondly, professors in colleges and teachers in schools take help of audio-visual techniques to prepare lesson plans for children. For this, they use Microsoft PowerPoint to prepare electronic presentations about their lectures. It is an interesting and simple method for students to learn.

On the other hand, one problem of computers is that they take a toll on the health of students who spend too much time on it. This is because the monitors of computers reflect rays that could not only directly impact the eyes of pupils and in turn affect their vision but also indirectly influence their education. Another possible issue is that when computers are used in schools, students might rely too heavily on the computer to correct spelling and grammatical errors because most computer word processing programs include a spelling and grammar check.

In conclusion, while students can benefit from using computers, it can also influence their health and study.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,303 3989  
Jan 6, 2022   #2
Education has evolved a great deal since the introduction of computers to the students.

Understood but incorrect. Your focus is on the improvement of education due to computers. The original topic refers to the essential need for computers in education. You accidentally reversed the discussion topic.

Computers have given a lot of benefits

but there are also drawbacks

When instructed to discuss the A and D, present 2 topic sentences for each focus. That means that a thesis statement is a required scoring element.

and give your opinion

Why did you add an instruction to the prompt? The Advantage V. Disadvantage instruction uses a comparative discussion that never requires a personal opinion. Did you notice how you did not give a personal opinion in the restatement paragraph? That is because you consciously knew that the last instruction was not a part of the orginal presentation.

Try to avoid using numerical ordinals when transitioning from one related topic to the next. While numerical counts will recieve scores, the use of advanced transition pleases or sentences help to better boost certain scoring elements in relation to cohesiveness and grammar scoring.

The conclusion is too brief. It lacks the 40 word minimum reference as represented by the discussion summary paraphrase. Always recap the previous points individually, over 5 sentences in the last paragraph.


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