Computers and other electronic novelties are important to our life
Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Computers and other modern equipments has been discussed by some people to see which one is the more important invention of over the last decades. On this essay, I would discuss from my view that the other moderns are also important to our life.
On the one hand, from the day we have got the inventions such as computer, smart phones...it is undeniable that computeer and laptop are essential tools in our daily life, even in work or social context, computers help us to work more effectively because it can store many important data, people can do many tasks at the same time like send email to notice about work or meeting invitation in a short time.
On the other hand, with the progress of science, many others have made such as cars, planes, subways, if these inventions had not happened, it would be impossible to travel internal or international so easily as these days. In addition, smart phones is also a part of this modern society as it help us to connect and to keep in touch with family and friends.
To conclude, despite the major contribution of computers in easing our professional lives, I believe that others crucial inventions have been made in the last century. Personally, I feel that transport revolution has simplified our lives as much as computers did.
The grammar and vocabulary of essay are good
However, I think your essay is quiet short and does not have examples for your explannation. Moreover, you need give your opinion in the introduction
You can give more idea about this statement like: Computer appearance is open the new page for technology and industry. Many softwares are developed to service industrialize purpose.
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There are two problems that will cause this essay presentation to fail. The first and foremost problem, is that you wrote under the minimum word count. The word count is the first thing that the examiner will check for. Since you wrote only 223 words out of the 250 minimum, you will be receiving points deductions for the remaining 27 words that are missing from your essay. That is the bad news. Now for the worst news.
You changed the prompt discussion from:
OP: To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
YP: I would discuss from my view that the other moderns are also important to our life.
Due to the unrelated response to the prompt, your TA score will immediately be a 1. So the 1 score for the unrelated response, plus the word deduction problem and, you guessed it, the essay will get an automatic failing score. Next time, make sure you write at least 250 words that fully discuss the prompt topic based on the discussion instruction that was provided. If you fail to do that, you will never get a passing score.
Hi, by reading your writing, I could easily speculate that this is your first time writing an essay. However, I want you to look for some essay instruction on the Internet and know more about what a basic essay requires. Your writing is short and lack of explanation for each instance you give. After all, I want you to practice more on writing and improve day by day. Good luck!!
I think that you should write more ( at least 250 words) and your essay is not related to the topic
You made a spelling error"compute
I suggest you to give an example