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IELTS "computers and the Internet are important resources "


beyondmtk 9 / 16 4  
Feb 3, 2013   #1
At present ,computers and the internet play a vital part in our daily lives. Yet at the same time,whether they are important resources has sparked much debate.Some people assert that they are very important for students' education.While others think that most of the knowledge students acquire is from their teachers.Personally ,I am in favor of the former view.

Obviously, it is reasonable for many people to assert that computers and the internet play an important part in students' study.For one thing,there is aboundant information on the internet and computer is a kind of powerful tool to get information.Therefore, computers and the internet are the most important resources to get information.For another thing,studying from teachers is not suitable for all the students because the performance depends on the personalities of the teachers.By contrast ,students can find a way to get information which is most suitable for them.There is another argument we should not overlook is that studying from the computers and the internet can be available for all the students.However,learning from their teachers is not convenient for some students, for example ,those who live in remote area.

Admittedly,it is worth pointing out there are also some arguments supporting the view that student should learn from their teachers.The main one may be there is undesirable information on the internet which can be harmful for the development of the students.As a consequence,students' education might be put into threat.Another argument is students might be addicted to the online games instead of studying by computers.In spite of that, I belive we should not block the use of the internet and computers.

In conclusion,I firmly believe that computers and the internet are the most important way to get information.At the same time, I think it is advisable that we should take some actions to get rid of the undesirable information on the internet.

==>Hi,guys.
Could you please give me some suggestion and correction to this essay.I am sure there must be many "error" or "misuse".

Thank you very much indeed. :)

And, could you tell me the score of the essay it could get, if possible.(I guess it might be not very accurate ,but ,any suggestion is appreciated:))
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Feb 3, 2013   #2
At present ,computers and the internetplay a vital part in our daily lives.

... vital role ...."role" is a better word to go with "vital" :)

While others think that most of the knowledge students acquire is from their teachers

... your idea has not presented clearly. This is my suggestion;
However, others think that teachers are the best resource for them to acquire knowledge.

.For one thing(sounds irrelevent ) ,there is aboundantabundant information on the internet and computer is a kind of powerful tool to get information.

Computers and the internet provide students with information abundantly.

For another thingreason ,studying from teachers is not suitable for all the students because the performance depends on the personalities of the teachers.

In this para you give two reasons why computers and internet are superior resources . However, you do not support with them with any specific examples, which is a must do thing for this task. My suggestion for you is to give only one reason for your opinion and support it with a specific example. It is the best way to handle this task because you have to manage time too. This is my suggestion for this para;

Obviously, computers and the internet play an important role in the students' life by providing ample information more efficiently and conveniently. For example, students of previous generation had to refer so many books to find relevant information for their assignments by spending lots of time in the libraries. However, today with the help of search engines such as google, yahoo etc., we can have convenient access to loads of information withing a very short time spell.
devabe2005 46 / 97  
Feb 4, 2013   #3
students' education might be put into threat -->students' education might be in threat
OP beyondmtk 9 / 16 4  
Feb 4, 2013   #4
dumi
hi ,dumi
Thanks for your great help.
You just said "However, you do not support with them with any specific examples, which is a must do thing for this task. "

==>But the question said "Discuss both these views and give your own opinion." So I think it does not need any example.

I was just wondering "does every task2 need examples to support your view in IELST".
Thanks a lot,again.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Feb 5, 2013   #5
But the question said "Discuss both these views and give your own opinion." So I think it does not need any example.
I was just wondering "does every task2 need examples to support your view in IELST".

Generally this task requires you to support your views and opinion with specific examples. In this case you can support your views with specific examples;

Therefore, computers and the internet are the most important resources to get information.

.... you can support this view with a more specific example so that your examiner would concieve your idea better;
For example, today the students need not to struggle in finding necessary information and data for carrying out their assignments. The Internet provides them with access to unlimited information and data almost instantly.

I think it is anyway a good habit to support your arguments with examples :)


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