Essay about concerns with education; students not learning helpful material- feedback

hi i was looking for help with my essay. general comments about the essay will help.

Education is one of my personal concerns. I believe that kids are not learning materials that will be helpful to them once they leave high school. In my opinion kids are not interested in the materials that are taught in NYS regents classes. Many of the materials taught in school today don't teach kids how to apply their knowledge in the real world.

In my personal experience I have seen that kids don't use most of what they are taught in high school. While subjects such as English, Math, Science, and History are extremely important, kids don't know how to apply that knowledge in order to make their lives better. While knowing how to solve a complex math problem is great for a person to know it cant help them unless they choose a career that deals with mathematics. I believe that it is important to teach children materials they can use everyday. Classes such as finance and career education, while not required classes for graduation, teach kids how to get jobs and how to fill out tax papers. Learning how to fill out job applications and tax returns are two important subjects that everyone needs to know and should be focused on in schools. Filling out job applications and tax returns are two things that everyone will need to know once they leave school.

I believe that the NYS regents classes teach kid how to pass the exam instead of how to apply their knowledge to solve problems. Many of the questions asked are not conceptual and do not require thought. The questions only require the students to memorize an answer that goes along with a phrase in the question. While state exams provide colleges an insight into how students are doing academically they don't teach kids materials that they will use in their lives. In my personal experiences many of the kids I know have forgotten the materials they learned in class.

College is a place where kids learn how to live on their own but this makes it hard for them to earn a degree and focus on their careers. I believe that if more kids were taught real world problems they will be able to focus more on their education in college. Also if kids know real world skills the transition from high school to college easier because they will know how to live on their own. I find that many college students find it hard to adapt to college life because they don't know how to live on their own. Learning real world skills in school would help them adapt to college life.

Education is one of my personal concerns. ----boring first sentence... not much meaning. It is just informative.

"I believe" almost always weakens essays:
I believe that k Kids are not learning materials that will be helpful to them once they leave high school.

get rid of unnecessary words:
In my opinion kids are not interested in the materials that are taught in NYS regents classes. Many of the materials taught in school today don't teach kids how to apply their knowledge in the real world.

I believe that if If more kids were taught real world problems they will would be able to focus more on their education in college.

I find that m Many college students find it hard to adapt to college life because they don't know how to live on their own.

:-)