IELTS WRITING TASK 2 : CONCLUSION for global trade, working children and community service

hai friends,
please help me to correct my exercise
thanks

Exercise 2
Please help me guys for correct my answer ...
1. As global trade increases, many goods, including those we use on a daily basis, are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distance.

Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks ?
CONCLUSION :
In conclusion, cross border trade will bring more benefits as this can strengthen economic growth of developing countries and meet essential need of society. This activity will become the future hope of particullar country to sustain the prosperity of the citizen.

2. In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience.

Discuss both opinions and give your opinion ?
CONCLUSION :
In summary, i am more likely to believe that children should not take a part in work experience as this will wanders student's attention in learning. It is therefore goverment should take that problem into account.

3. Unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching sports to younger children).

To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
CONCLUSION :
One of the most critical activity in school programs is voluntary work. Thus it can develop student careness for their atmosphere and for building up social skills student in the future. Therefore, unpaid community service is important for learners.

Hallo riaan.. i will give you suggestions especially about content of your conclusions. I guess for questions no 1 and 2 you need to give 2 ideas that must available in your introductions and bodies paragraph.. so it will be better if you write also in your conclusions about one idea, and another idea that you prefer on it. Usually, your prefer idea will be found in the second sentence after previous idea in the conclusion paragraph.. and for the third conclusion.. it rather be if you give To sum up or To conclude in the first line of conclusion paragraph so it help the readers to understand obviously with that essay..

Thank you..