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The concrete is processed by mixing all of the ingredients into the concrete mixer.


ifraanisa05 44 / 70 6  
Nov 6, 2016   #1
The diagrams show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

The diagrams illustrate the manufacturing process of cement and concreting cement as a source to composite other materials when building things. When processing cement, limestone and clays are used as inputs. After that, cement as an output in cement production become an input in concrete production with sand, water, and gravel.

Making cement consists of the crusher, mixer, rotating heater, and grinder as the equipment. Firstly, limestone and clay are put into crusher. Below the crusher, there is powder which is needed to make crusher whirl. Secondly, the mixture of limestone and clay through the mixer machine and get into a rotating heater. While it is rotated, fire heats the mixture. Following this, it will be demolished in grinder machine and put into the cement bags.

Concreting cement is processed by mixing all of the ingredients into the concrete mixer. 15 percent of cement is needed to create concrete cement. At the same time, sand about 25 percent and 50 percent gravel are put into concrete mixer. Afterwards, 10 percent of water is poured into all the materials. Finally, concrete mixer blend all of the materials and produce the concrete cement.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,823 4781  
Nov 6, 2016   #2
Ifra, congratulations on writing an essay that could quite possibly score a 7 in an actual setting. Your paper is quite coherent, creates and understandable discussion, and clearly represents the diagram illustration. You have a clear grasp of the English language at, perhaps, an intermediate level which has helped you write this essay on a more clarified level. Although there are some instances where the wrong terms were used or the word was misspelled here and there, these errors were not serious enough to dent your rating in this essay. I would suggest that you continue doing whatever it is you are doing in terms of reviewing and improving your English skills. If I am to base your skills on this essay alone, I could say that you have the potential to improve your skills to the point where you may get more than just a passing grade in the actual test.
akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Nov 6, 2016   #3
Hi Miss Ifra..
These are my suggestions to finalize yours


concreting cement as a source to composite other materials when building things

Miss, be careful of paraphrasing. Besides that, you have to analyze the diagram because you state different meaning of the Picture The right picture actually describe the process of producing the concrete.

In the process of processing making the (...) clays are MAIN SOURCES used as inputs. After that, THE cement as (...) production becomeS an input in concrete production MIXED with sand...

Making cement consists of NEEDS (Please, you reread your sentence so that you can make sure you what you write is what in your mind) the crusher, mixer, ...

... clay are put into THE crusher MACHINE.
... there is powder which is(Conduct omitting so that you can demonstrate your skill in the grammar) needed to ...
... mixer machine and get BEAR into a rotating heater.
... in grinder machine and put IS PACKED into the cement bags.

Concreting cement THE CONCRETE is processed by mixing...
... needed to create THE concrete cement. At the same time, sand about 25 percent OF SAND and 50 percent OF gravel are put into THE concrete mixer.

... all of the materials and FINALLY produce the concrete cement.


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