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Congestion and air pollution because of increasing number of private cars


huongvt 1 / 2  
Nov 11, 2010   #1
Dear Sir/Madam,
I was wonder if you could help me improve my writing skill.
I would like to receive your correct
thank from my heart to you
The rising levels of congestion and air pollution found in most of the world cities can be attributed directly to the rapidly increasing number of private cars in use. In order to stop this decline in the quality of life in cities, attempts must be made to encourage people to use their cars less and public transport more.

discuss possible way to encourage the use of public transport.
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Recently an increasing number of heavy traffic jams as well as environmental issues because of accelerating of cars' owners downtown. Fortunately, there are some viable solutions to upgrade people using public transport.

The most obvious solution is improving public transport services. For example, supervising driver tightly to avoid the overloading of people on a bus trip that make passengers freer and more comfortable. In addition, expending the time tables and local stations as far as increasing the trips are very important to ensure that people can go to work as much convenient as possible. As the result, the biggest problem that making people are afraid of waiting for the bus is solved. Furthermore, it is necessary that the government should built more the bus route maps and the sky-carpers at the every local bus depot about quality and quantity. Consequently, not only can passengers find out the way route easier but also do not dress for the weather.

A further step is for offices and schools to provide the transports by themself to get their staffs. And then people can go to work on the time and do not stand of congestion.

If these steps are taken people will be likely more comfortable to choose public transport to go to work. Then the number of private cars will be decreased as well as traffic jams can be gone down.

adriennelin 11 / 30  
Nov 20, 2010   #2
Hi huong vu,

First, it's under word limitation and you might be getting penalty for this.
There are some sentences that I don't quite understand and I think you can increase words by explaining and elaborating.

For example, supervising driver tightly to avoid the overloading of people on a bus trip that make passengers freer and more comfortable.

Why supervising drivers can avoid overloading?

And then people can go to work on the time and do not stand of congestion.

You can also write about the subsidies that the companies can provide for their employees. Write in a more detailed way.


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