The consequences of competing between older people and young ones for the same type of occupations

Nowadays more and more older people who are looking for work have to compete with younger people for the same jobs.

What problems do this cause?
What are some possible solutions?

Essay:

It is true that the job market has become more competitive between young employees and old ones to apply for the same positions. There are a number of problems has resulted from this tendency and they should be resolve by a number of effective solutions.

There are several of negative outcomes from such a competition between young job applicants and old ones. The first predictable consequence is the abundance of labor resources who are old-age pensioner. Even though there is no doubt the fact that the aging workforce is highly experienced, they seem to be less productive due to their health deterioration. This would negatively influence their job performance at a workplace. Another problem is that old job seekers could not compete with young people in certain fields that not only require great versatility and creativity like sales or marketing but also keep up - to - date with the latest/ changes of technology. Without adequate financial means .Without stable income to support their family and themselves, elderly people might have to live in poverty.

Since such issues are serious, the governments should take steps immediately to address these problems. The first solution is that providing greater job market for senior citizens and utilize both young generations and old ones to train each other. It is government responsibility to invest in creating job opportunities and employ the elderly who are skilled and experienced so as to train younger counterparts. A second measure would be offer training courses for old people in order to boost their technological knowledge. This will reduce the level of competition for the same jobs between two groups of applicants and empower them to increase their chances of getting their wanted positions.

In conclusion, although there are various potential consequences of competing between older people and young ones for the same type of occupations, appropriate steps could be taken to tackle these issues. Therefore, both groups should help each other to improve their weaknesses and provide more job opportunities in society.

Avoid a personal opinion presentation about the truth of a statement in the opening sentence. That isan unnecessary and prompt altering statement that will lower the accuracy score. Any personal news should be stated at the end of the paragraph as an integrated personal statement. The first paragraph is extremely weak as it does not provide a proper discussion basis as required through straight responses to the questions listed.

The first response paragraph is nothing more than a paraphrasing of existing reasons from already existing essays. The same can also be said of the solutions paragraph. Therefore, the writer has not presented original ideas. He has used this essay as a paraphrasing exercise instead. I cannot accurately judge his writing abilities and personal responses in this case.

I think the first point in body 1 should be explained a little bit more, why ' the consequence is the abundance of labor resources who are old-age pensioner' ?

Your essay needs more sentence variation, which help readers to easily understand. An essay with every sentence is long may confuse readers