Considerable growth in global tourism nowadays

IELTS WRITING TASK 2: INTERNATIONAL TOURISM

Topic:
International tourism is now more common than ever before.
Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not.

What are your opinions on this?

Answer:

Recent years have seen considerable growth in global tourism. Yet, there remain some controversies as to whether the overall effect of this tendency has been positive or negative. While there are certainly valid arguments to contrary, I personally believe that the benefits of international holiday making far outweigh its drawbacks. There are two primary reasons for this.

Firstly, global tourism tends to export many positive aspects of the young generation's knowledge. It's an undeniable fact that this trend revolutionizes personal understanding and tolerance between people of different cultures which creates knowledgeable citizens over the world. For example, along with the booming increase of the desire for their children to travel oversea, there has in fact been a proportional growth in the achievement of multinational knowledge, as well as the positive attitudes toward distant nations among youth. Despite the trivial changes it has been bringing, it's a significant step toward developing potential generation.

Further and even more salient, though, is the undeniable economic prosperity it has brought to many destination countries. Since most international tourists are frequently affluent, the influx of them has provided a remarkable fortune, especially for developing countries like Vietnam. Admittedly, the moral decadence of tourists has been causing environmental degradation, however, with the dominant cash flow and regulations relating to ecological preservation that have been enforced this moral issue can be resolved in the foreseeable future.

By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that the flourishing international tourist industry has had a positive impact on modern life because of its influence on human knowledge and the prosperity of host nations.

Where there is no evidence to any controversial claims made in the original reference, none should be made in the restatement. That is because additional information is not a scoring requirement, but rather a scoring deduction in this particular section. The writer is expected to restate the topic without any exaggerations or additional information because that is what a restatement is all about. A factual representation of the writer's understanding of a given topic, without any influence of a personal opinion or exaggerated references. Why? When those 2 aspects are included in a restatement, it changes the discussion topic and reasoning platform, things that run counter to the expectations for a prompt restatement.

The writer did a good job of stating his personal opinion but it was not a complete success. He stated that he had 2 reasons for his belief and yet, he did not outline what these discussion reasons were. The need to outline the discussion reasons are 2 fold:

1. The writer shows the examiner how well he understood the discussion topic
2. It allows the student to have an outline to follow while writing the essay. It is evidence that the writer took the time to analyze, outline, and actually draft the essay. Things that will help when he is finalizing his response presentation.

The writer has the right ideas in support of his opinion. However, his discussion is not focused on the correct development of these thoughts. His presentations are lacking in proper sentence development and appropriate word usage. He does not deliver a clear thought process because he is trying to complicate the discussion with advanced word usage, when he does not know how to appropriately use these. He was incapable of proper word usage since he does not have the proper sentence writing skills to come up with advanced sentence and paragraph presentations.