Did you ever see a repetitive advertisement that played 3 times or more in sequence? It must be stuck in your head. Therefore, people should beware of consumerism culture among us it cause the industry engage the potential consumer to buy their new product for make us pleased, the cunning one of advertising put on fabulous and fancy figure, sometimes kid force their parents to buy them things.
The ads aims to persuade people for buying a product will make them happier. Generally they offer a lovely dream in it that consists of delight. The truth is, it would not happen like that.
One of the trick that used by industry they take fabulous, fancy and éclat figure; artist, celebrity, singer, entrepreneur and public figure. It means, actually the figure is already good even without that product.
The worst, children put pressure on their parents to buy them a product that showed by the advertising. Not sure the parents have money for buy them that thing.
In conclusion, as the evidence shows, consumer promised an enjoyment by the industry in order to buy their product, put a public figure as a representation of the product, moreover youth force their parents to buy thing. They so persuasive in many ways to urge us for buying their product. It is a shameful if we just accept what advertising does to us.
hallo
there are few advice for you
Did you ever seeSEEN(ATTENTION FOR PAST TENSES ) a repetitive advertisement that ...
... beware of consumerism cultureamong us it cause the industry engage the [...] force their parents to buy them things. ( ATTENTION GRAMATICAL DONT MAKE READER CONFUSED)
The ads aims to persuade people for buying a ... PURPOSE OF PERSUADE PEOPLE FOR BUYING A PRODUCT IS MAKE THEM HAPPIER.
keep writing i believe yo will got good writing
Hi, there!
I want to get some more additional tips for your essay
1) Did you ever see ... => Have you ever seen a repetitive advertisement which kept played 3 times or more at a time?
2)to buy their new product for make us pleased => to buy their new product to please us ( use "in order to" or just "to" when you mean a purpose)
3)the cunning one of advertising put on fabulous ... => one of the advertising schemes is to put on fabulous and fancy/adorable public figure. sometimes, kids force their parents to buy ...
Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections
Did you ever seen a repetitive advertisement ...
Therefore, people should beware be aware of consumerism culture ...
... lovely dream in it that consists of delight. The truth is, it would not happen like that.
... used by industry they take took fabulous, fancy and éclat figure;which are artist, celebrity, singer, entrepreneur...
The worst While, thechildren put pressure on their ...
Not sure unlikely, the parents have money for buy them that thing.
Maybe you can using similar words for the third sentence.
He Rinnegan, here are some advices for your writing,
beware of consumerism culture among us it cause the industry engage the potential consumer to buy their--> us as it cause , engagement of ...
Generally they offer a lovely ... --> generally, they offer delightful ideas to the people
hope it helps you to improve your writing,
regards
