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[IELTS Writing Task 1] The consumption of fish and different kinds of meat between 1979 and 2004

hi021132 6 / 11 4  
Jul 19, 2017   #1
The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting tha main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.

appetite for meat and seafood

The diagram illustrates fish and meats consumed in a country in Europe during the period from 1979 to 2004.

In general, the consumption level dropped throughout the years between 1979 and 2004. Among all kinds of food, the amount of chicken ate was the only rising number while other three items' figures decreased.

In 1979, there were more than 200 grams of beef consumed per person per week which was the highest figure. The lamb consumption amounted to around 150 grams per person per week while the figure of chicken as food was just 10 grams lower than the lamb consumption. Last but not least, people ate about 60 grams fish per week.

The consumption of beef drastically plummeted to just over 100 grams per person per week in 2004 although this amount has once peaked at the level of almost 250 grams in a year from 1979 to 1984. The weights of lamb and fish consumed fell steadily to approximately 60 grams and below 50 grams respectively in 2004. In contrast, chicken was the only choice became more popular in the 25 years. Its consumption level skyrocketed to around 250 grams per person per week. (196 words)

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,670 4112  
Jul 19, 2017   #2
Peter, the summary overview is the most important part of the Task 1 essay. This is the paragraph that shows how you analyzed the information and decided upon what information to present. Therefore, it should be longer than just a single sentence. It has to be presented in at least 3 sentences. The sentences that you should have presented in the opening summary is as follows:

1. The type of graph / diagram presented and inclusive years of comparison
2. The types of food included in the diagram
3. The general trend you observed.

Your current opening statement only satisfied one of the 3 requirements that could have created a strong summary overview for your essay.

With regards to your sentence construction, do not relax your word choice. You are to speak in an academic tone at all times so when you say "Last but not the least", you are using a conversational instead of informative tone. You could have instead said "Finally..." or "Chicken was the least consumed..." Always place a degree of respect for your academically trained reader. This is still an academic essay after all.

Save for these 2 observations, your work is pretty good. You have developed an acceptable presentation of relatively complex sentences to impress the reviewer with your degree of English language use. I look forward to reading your succeeding practice tests. Keep up the good work.
OP hi021132 6 / 11 4  
Jul 20, 2017   #3
Thank you for your comment. I really find it useful, especially the comment about the choice of words. But what confuses me is the the structure of the essay. I used to combine the introduction and overview in a single paragraph in my old essays. However, the separation of two parts is suggested in some reference book about this task. May I know the difference between the two approaches?

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