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Toefl essay: the contents of TV, movies, games influence young people's behavior.


scarecrowd 8 / 16  
Oct 1, 2010   #1
Nowadays, TV programs, movies, and video games become more important parts of our children. These media contain both good and bad contents. One question I often thought about whether the contents of these media influence young people's behavior. Although, many researches claimed that there are no relation between these two, in my opinion, I agree that our children are influenced by these devices for many examples.

Adverstisment during TV programs and before movies are the vital examples to answer this question. An overstated advertisement have effected the young people in demanding the luxury things such as gadgets or toys. They persuade children by using the overstated function, popular celebrities. Teens was persuaded by this affection. They copy the beharvior.

Another example is the violence content. This violence contents found in commom video games like killing zombies, using guns even raping the woman. Some children can not seperate between the reality and the games leads to the violent crime in the school. They fired their teachers and friends without notice the consequent.

Last example is the bad influenced. Smoking , drinking achol seem to be the ordinary scene in many movies. Moreover, they make the smoker or drinker to become the smart guy like James Bond.

The effected to the young people who want to be like thier heroes or heroins, they copy this bad manners.

In conclusion, there are both good and bad contents in these midiem, the parent is the important persons that choose which one is appropriate with thier children.

mea505 - / 265  
Oct 1, 2010   #2
Hi Wipu again!

Boy -- you certainly are writing a lot these days!

I must tell you -- that this essay was formatted well. You described your thesis statement and then you defended it in three different paragraphs -- that was good! The only critical area that I have is explained below, and the same sort of situation occurs in the next two paragraphs. Clean that up, and I think that you will have a good essay!

Good job!

--Mark :)

Nowadays, TV programs, movies, and video games become more important parts of our children.children's lives. These media contain both good and bad contents . One question I often thought about is whether the contents of these media influence young people's behavior. Although, many researches claimed that there are no relation between these twoyoung people's behavior and the content of the media , in my opinion, I agree that our children are influenced by these devices for many examplesreasons .


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