Contrast viewpoints of the author and the lecturer about using cell phone

Hi,

This is the Toefl iBT integrated task; it takes me about 40 minutes to write, double compare with allowance time. Please check grammar as well as help me find out wrong or bad points in my essay.

Thanks,

The author states that cell phones not only make our life more comfortable, but also causes accidents by neglecting drivers. The lecturer, in contrast, argues that using cell phones when driving is not the only one reason creates accidents. She says that we should have a look at the fact.

According to the passage, cell phones become popular. They bring to us many useful things, however they also cause dangerous accidents when mis-using. Cell phone use has increased significantly. Fifty year ago, there were 4.3 million cell phone subscribers, but now more than 224 million people using it. Besides their advantages, cell phones are blamed for threating people's safety, especially using cell phone when driving. To prevent this issue, many contries prohibit using cell phone, force to use headset, fine when crashing, or deny compensation when driving.

The lecturer has the different viewpoint. She contends that there are many other reasons can cause accident such as watching videos, adjusting radio, talking with passengers, using GPS, talking with children as well as speaking cell phone. Cell phone is not only one reason. In addition, in many cases, drivers can benefit from them for example emergency, getting help, reporting accidents. Clearly, she proposes that we should have a hard look the reasons cause accidents and should not focus only on using cell phone.

The author states that cell phones not only make our life more comfortable, but also causes accidents by neglecting drivers. The lecturer, in contrast, argues that using cell phones when driving is not the only one reason createscreating accidents. She says that we should have a look at the fact

According to the passage, cell phones become popular. They bring to us many useful things; however, they also cause dangerous accidents when mis-using

tuanlnc
have a hard look the reasons cause accidents and should not focus only on using cell phone.
>>> have a hard look at reasons causing ...

You should avoid using the same word too many times that show your limited range of English words. At first, you can use a long and accurate word ( ex. Cellular phone/ mobile phone), and replace it with a new synonyms (ex. Phone/ mobile/ cell phone).

Use/ utilize
using cell phone ­­­­­­­­when driving= make a call while driving. Good luck!