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Contribution of artists and scientists are both important to society.


hungvud 19 / 30 6  
Jun 13, 2012   #1
Please help...

It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of its members.
Compare the contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society.
Which type of contribution do you think is valued more by your society? Give specific reasons to support your answer
.

It goes without saying the contribution of artists and scientists are both important to society. Some people claim that scientists make way more contribution than artists do, while others argue that it is not true. In my point of view, both artists and scientists are playing equal, valuable and irreplaceable roles in terms of contributing to our society. My view is based on the following arguments.

From the one hand, it is undoubtedly that art nourishes our souls, makes our mental lives diversified and healthier. Literature, for example, is a refuge of fantasy. It is a way of becoming someone you have always wanted to be, living in the world that you want to live - for both writer and reader. Lying on a beautiful sunny beach, reading a favorite book is an excellent way of relaxing. Movie, another the form of art, helps people to read a whole novel or a fiction in a lively way. Having a romantic dinner following by a good movie in a favorite cinema is a typical way of enjoying life. Music and dancing also make our life better. Listening to profound melodies or burning oneself in emotional movements is another great way of wiping out our stress. Therefore, without these art forms I believe that our world would become boring than ever before.

From the other hand, scientists play no less important role. I can hazard to say that every single one in the world is indebted to the scientists. We have cars and airplane to travel from one place to another place fast and safely. We have mobile phone so that we can talk to our friend who is thousands of kilometers far away. We have internet where we can access to the immense source of knowledge, etc. Finally, variety of medicines helps to cure many types of disease and prolong our lives. Those convenient facilities were all invented by nobody but scientists. The contribution of scientists, thus, is invaluable to the society.

In conclusion, someone cannot say that artists' contribution to society is greater than those of scientists or vice verse. My opinion is that both types play equal roles to the development of our society. Artists feed our mental lives, while scientists make our world a better and more convenient place to live.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jun 13, 2012   #2
Excellent Intro :)

Some people claim that scientists make way more contribution than artists do,

My view is based on the following arguments.

It reads better without this ... don't have to tell because reader knows you are going to convince him ... anyways, nice introduction :)

From the one hand,iI t is undoubtedly that art nourishes our souls, makes our mental lives diversified and healthier.moods positive and happier and helps people live mentally healthier lives.

Literature, for example, is a refuge of fantasy. It is a way of becoming someone you have always wanted to be, living in the world that you want to live - for both writer and reader.

---------------- beautiful :)

Movie, another the form of art, helps people to read a whole novel or a fiction in a lively way. -------------- helps read, help develop ( x to)

Having a romantic dinner followinged by a good movie in a favorite cinemais a typical way of enjoying life.would sooth one's mind.

... Be careful that you do not provide too many examples because you may run short of time to complete your essay. Here you can talk only about one form of art. So you can either choose literature or movie. But give a more specific example;

Personally, I am a great lover of literature; It has the ability to inspire me and alter my moods; it leaves lasting impressions and influence me to look at the world differently shaping me into a more sensible and sensitive person in the society.

scientists play no less important role.- -------------- a strong sentence

we can talk to our friends who isare thousands of kilometers farmiles away. ------------ well, i prefer miles because i belong to that era :P

, some one cannot say that artists' contribution to society is greater than those of scientists or vice verse. My opinion is that both typesartists and scientists play equal roles

Artists feed our mental lives, while scientists make our world a better and more convenient place to live.

------------ WOW! :)

Enjoyed reading ! Good Job!
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Jun 13, 2012   #3
FromOn the one hand....On the other hand

one place to another placeone

We have mobile phone so that

Do not use "We" "You', "I" in writing. U can change the sentence in this way :"Mobile phone is another clear-cut example that reveals the role of scientists in our lives"

...is invaluable to thea (u are not talking about a certain society. So, I think "a" should be replaced with "the") society.

both artists and scientists are playing equal, valuable and irreplaceable roles

My opinion is that both types play equal roles

U used the term "play equal roles" in the introduction and conclusion. Try to use various structures and words for the sentences.

The essay is a bit long (383 words). Be careful about time limitation in a real test

Overall the essay was a great one. If you write like this in the IELTS and TOEFL tests u can easily get the scores of 7.5 and 27, respectively.

Regards
Ahmad
OP hungvud 19 / 30 6  
Jun 15, 2012   #4
Thank you so much Dumi and Ahmad :)


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