Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

IELTS TASK 2: Control Over use of Water by Government


ieltsp 6 / 12 5  
Oct 2, 2013   #1
Hi,

Could someone review my essay and comment on it. I require 7 in each section of IELTS.

Some people think they have right to use as much fresh water as they want,others,otherwise believes governments should strictly control the use of fresh water as it is limited resource. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Water is considered as one of the most precious thing that is required for the survival of the mankind on this planet. Though 75% of the earth is covered in water only 1% of it is fresh water with rest being saline in nature. Many people feel that governments should impose restrictions on the use of fresh water and some people refute this. These points of view will be discussed in this order.

Firstly, fresh water has to be used with care owing to its less availability. Any resource without restriction is bound to result in wastage of it. For example, in countries like India where there is shortage of water, people from the upper strata misuse the fresh water for sake of pools and other water related sports. Thus water would be used in unwarranted ways if its usage is not supervised by the governments. Thus this clearly shows that the restrictions on water is required for it to be used in an efficient manner

On the contrary, restrictions on basic amenities would make them more valued resource and result in these resources not available to under privileged as the wealth people might influence the government. For Instance, in countries with corrupt governments people of the higher class can influence the officials to have more fresh water supplied to them. This would add to the barely available water to be even more premium for the people of lower strata. Thus this clearly shows that restrictions on already less available fresh water would just worsen the situation.

In conclusion, both the ideas of leaving the usage of water to peoples own will and having control over the usage, have their own disadvantages. I feel that supervision on usage of fresh water by the government is required for better results. Nevertheless care should also be taken to ensure that the authority controlling this would serve all people equally an impartially.

Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Oct 2, 2013   #2
Water is considered as one of the most precious things that is required for the survival of the mankind on this planet.

. .... If it is survival, then it is not one of the most prescious things, but one of most essential things... Hope you got my point;

Water is considered as one of the most essential components for human survival on this planet.

Though 75% of the earth is covered inwith water only 1% of it is fresh water with rest being saline in nature.

Many people feel that governments should impose restrictions on the use of fresh water and some people refute this.

.... before this you need to say why it is necessary.
You said there is only 1% and then say that's why we need to take actions to manage it prudently.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Oct 3, 2013   #3
Firstly, fresh water has to be used with care owing to itsless availability.

"scarcity" is a more appropriate key word to express "less availability"

For example, in countries like India where there is shortage of water, people from the upper strata misuse the fresh water for sake of pools and other water related sports.

... I doubt "strata" is the best word to use there... You mean the people of upper class misuse water for their recreational activities. Isn't it?

Overall, you write very well. Good ideas, sentences, vocabulary and essay structure too. Wish you good luck with IELTS!


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Control Over use of Water by Government