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IELTS WRITING TASK2 - CONTROVERSIAL GENDER TOPIC


oojbjoo 1 / -  
Jul 26, 2017   #1
Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weakness. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?

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Please give me advices and score. Really appreciate!!!
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Men and women right to the same job



There is no doubt that males and females have differences in individual characters due to the genetic inheritance and socio-demographic components. Some argue for setting up mono-sexual occupations, which is attacked by the concern for gender quality. In my opinion, this idea merits more careful consideration.

It is undoubtedly that man and women are good at different field, which enables them to perform well in certain tasks. For example, males are considered comparatively good at physical works such as driving taxis and decorating houses because they are physically strong. Similarly, taking care of the household activities and bringing up the children are deemed to be women's duty because most of them are kind, loving and caring. By keeping men or women out of certain occupations, it is more efficient that people can accomplish the duty.

However, even though both genders are extremely suited for the jobs above, there is a changing trend which are taking place in modern world. Because the growing opportunities of higher education and the stronger sense of equal rights, a considerable number of women are breaking the barriers in order to fulfill their ambitions. They can be seen at various important positions, such as politicians and doctors, where they are also performing beyond the expectations of public. In the same way, men are wild about taking care of children and doing chores as well. Therefore, it is inaccurate to say that both genders are suitable to do exclusive types of job.

In brief, men and women have their own rights to select specific profession. Preserving the gender quality in workplace is a socially meaningful behavior.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,607 2503  
Jul 26, 2017   #2
Sebastian, because you misunderstood, misrepresented, and did not correctly discuss the original prompt statement, your essay cannot score higher than a 3. While you were asked if you believed that it was right to exclude certain genders from jobs because of their gender, you were discussing equality in the workplace. Which is nowhere near what the original prompt required you to discuss. Hence the failing score. You cannot pass any aspect of the test because you already failed the task accuracy portion. As such, it shows that you lack the English comprehension skills to be able to participate in an English discussion on a given topic. Therefore, the rest of the rating criteria no longer applies. It won't matter how good your grammar is when your English comprehension skills are not at an acceptable level for an English speaker / student. In order to pass this test, you must do the following:

1. Learn to look for keywords that can help you understand the meaning of the essay. Keywords such as "women, men, common strengths and weaknesses,exclude, due to gender", if you understood these words, would have helped you to better respond to the essay prompt

2. Practice your English comprehension skills by not doing the actual essay tests yet but rather, allowing yourself to read any English material and then simply have you restate what you read in a manner that your friends and relatives can understand. Once you are comfortable with that and you successfully explain the topics you have read about, then you may proceed with the actual practice tests.

As of now, this essay will not receive a passing score. You need to work on developing your lexical resources and task accuracy representations in order to increase your chances of getting a passing score in the actual test.


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