Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Convenience food / city people for writing IELTS task 2

Tongalere 1 / -  
Mar 22, 2017   #1

Convenience food will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation.
To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

City People Like Fast Food

Food is fundamental things that always overlooked. Even though the existence of classical food and food preparation method are threatened by convenience food in nowadays, it is also shows the portrait of time is more important rather than health from choosing foods. The writer believes that this notion has own costumer in certain area where it would bring to pro and contra.

The worker in capital city has tendency to choice convenience food in busy hours or in daily routine as their breakfast or lunch which is more efficient while they have to face deadline from their office. Also, it was For instance, in a big city like New York, the employers prefer to buy some of coffee and donuts and wrapped it to their office or delivery order rather than they have to eat and drink it on the spot. They claim that it is more saves their time to do some activities that very important related to their job like deadline in order to in the night they do not have to bring their work at home.

However, in rural and suburban area, traditional food and food preparation method still popular through family time, such as, this time usually used to gather with other family members. Taking Indonesia as an example, most of family will be at home when dinner time after a whole day they spent their time to work for parent and go to school for the children.

To sum up, traditional food cannot be judge that it will be replaced by convenience food since it has already became a convention for family who live far from city. Even though, the differences still appear in a big city, fast-food is first choice for the people.
okorobiadimma14 6 / 82 50  
Mar 23, 2017   #2
Heru, your essay failed to answer the prompt as it seems you did not understand the requirements of the essay. In the first instance, you are expected to paraphrase the topic question in your introductory paragraph and develop a thesis statement which agrees or disagrees with the premise depicted in the prompt. The thesis statement gives an overview of what the reader will expect in the 2-3 paragraphs which form the body of the essay. The next line of action is to develop the points that are captured in your thesis statement. Each point is discussed in a separate paragraph accordingly with examples where necessary. Having developed your thesis statement, you are expected to conclude your write-up in a concise manner without further explanations. Your current draft shows that you have a very significant weakness in English Grammar. I suggest you acquire some English Grammar texts and other related materials that will help to enhance your sentence construction and grammatical accuracy. Right now, this essay will not fetch you any score more than a 3.

Home / Writing Feedback / Convenience food / city people for writing IELTS task 2