In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your opinion.
In recent years, the expectation of life from all over the world has risen significantly; therefore, this passage will discuss how older is essential for younger generations and the problems of overpopulation. However, the benefits seem to outweigh the drawbacks.
The increase in life expectancy is beneficial for several reasons. First and foremost, it is claimed that the longer people live, the more experienced and wise they are. After a long and continuous period of studying and working, the elderly have an opportunity to learn skills and knowledge that are valuable. Therefore older people can pass down their life experiences to younger generations, which makes the world more developed. Secondly, another benefit of living longer is that elderly can work or do volunteer with the view of devoting more to society. For example, my 65 years old uncle is still doing voluntary work as a teacher in a mountainous area.
On the other hand, it is undoubted that the rise in life expectancy also results in some drawbacks. A longer lifespan would be a burden on the shoulders of the government. For instance, the General Office For Population And Family Planning organization has announced that 2 billion VND had to be added to cover the medical insurance of people above 60 in the past 15 years. Moreover, overpopulation would be a big concern for developed countries.
In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against the rising lifespan, but I firmly agree that the increase in the length of life may bring more advantages than its disadvantages.
Thank you for your feedback.
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The prompt restatement + personal opinion paragraph cannot receive a passing score. The examiner will be highly confused by the word usage and grammar representation in this paragraph to the point where he will be confused and doubtful about what the writer is trying to say. This text is nowhere near the meaning, expectation, and presentation of the original statement. This failure will be enough to limit the passing ability of the rest of the essay. It has handicapped the writer's score as his essay has already failed the first aspect of the sectional scores. Nothing in the original prompt refers to overpopulation and "older is essential for younger generations" (whatever the writer thinks that confusing passage means). The writer has included subjects for consideration that are not supported by the original prompt presentation. The restatement + opinion presentation will get the lowest possible score ( failing / non passing) for that paragraph, thus pulling down the other scoring considerations.
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The writer also failed to provide a third reasoning paragraph that explains his opinion regarding the topic. There is an under developed essay presented along with a severely off topic first paragraph. The writer has too many errors in the TA, GRA, LR, and C+C sections to receive even a baseline passing score.