athletics
Word choice error leading to a lowered vocabulary score. The correct term is athletes. An athlete is a person trained or gifted in exercises or contests involving physical agility, stamina, or strength; a participant in a sport, exercise, or game requiring physical skill. While athletics refers to sports, as running, rowing, or boxing, or track and field.
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Ellipses, as a punctuation mark is not used in academic writing. Use of this indicates an omission normally present in informal writing. This will lower the grammar accuracy of the presentation.
donate
word use error again. The celebrities recieve donations that add to their income. The student must improve his English language vocabulary with a focus on meaning and proper usage in sentences.
On the contrary, this phenomenon can contribute to rough consequences.
Why are you discussing consequences when the prompt only asks for reasons? Adding non prompt related discussions will result in a failing score due to an improperly developed discussion presentation.
The summary conclusion does not reflect the previous discussion as required. Most of the reduced points will be in the IR section.