... sure :)
First you have some grammar issues;
Some people thoughtthink that Economic success is only the factor for comparison with others, while others believedbelieve that we need to consider other important factors along with economic success.
... your prompt speaks of a claim of present day and therefore you've got to keep the tense in present.
As for your introduction, it misses out the hook and conclusion (see the guideline structure I suggested above) Start with a more catchy sentence which is your hook and finish the introduction with stating your opinion on the argument, very clearly.
If a country providesthe good education facilities and high standard education system for people
, the literacy rate is increased.
the literacy level will increase.Your first body para is fine, but the second one lacks specific examples.