Unanswered [8] / Urgent [0] / SERVICES
  

Writing Feedback   Posts: 2

IELTS : In many countries it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?


hyashintaonen 2 / 2 2  
Jan 9, 2019   #1
In many countries it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?

Advertising alcoholic should be banned



Smoking is one of crucial social problems, but alcohol also becomes major concern because many countries have prohibited all the ads of that. It is agreed to ban the companies to promote alcohol due to the detrimental effects on our body and the power of media to influence consumers.

Advertising alcoholic should be banned because it is harmful to human health. Drinking to much causes some serious illness such as liver cancer, diabetes, and heart diseases. Despite the utility to warm our body, most people consume alcohol only for entertaining and finally have terrible end. For instance, Indonesia has huge problem with alcoholism and many men were dying because of it, but after the government restrict the promotion of alcoholic at television, newspaper, and internet, it is resulted a significant reduction of such cases.

In addition, it is inevitable that ads could persuade someone to buy more alcohol. This strengths of promotion could danger innocent people who might try alcohol as well as the addict ones. The main goal of any advertisement is to sell more, and the irresponsible part is when they distort the fact by only mentioned the positives and cut the drawbacks. I often saw billboards with a picture of handsome guy who drink beer accompanied by pretty and sexy women to show that drinking alcohol is cool and enjoyable in many billboards for example. The ads never talked about the danger impact for long term huge consumption.

In conclusion, if a country want to drop the number of drinkers, they should restrict the alcohol ads for the sake of community health. So, what can society do? They could support the government, and be critical of exaggerated promotion.

Jan 9, 2019   #2
There are some grammatical mistakes here:

should be changed to "advertising alcoholic beverages" or "advertising alcohol"

should be changed to "if a country wants to drop the number of drinkers"

In addition:

"It is agreed to ban the ..."

This phrase could be worded better; it doesn't sound right.

Also, your write-up is vey unbalanced. You are against the advertising of alcoholic drinks, but you don't explore any positives of it: helping the economy, providing jobs, preventing other more serious addictions, etc.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS : In many countries it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?