[IELTS] In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people..

In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building.

Do you agree or disagree?

Owing to the detrimental effects of smoking, several countries have banned it in public areas and if needed, one must consider move to a isolated place. I strongly support this move and will discuss the same in this essay.

To begin with, there are number of health hazards associated with smoking in public that are not just limited to smoker but also to surrounding individuals. This is because, the fumes exhaled out of smoker have tendency to create a cloud of fumes around him, which can be inhaled by the bystanders, as a result, bystanders gets exposed to same respiratory-diseases as the smoker. Studies have shown that, people around the smokers are more prone to cancer than the main character. Alternatively, if such a practice is done in an isolated enviroment, it will certainly confine the harmfull effects of tobacco.

Furthermore, smoking in public place also presents psychological effects. In other words, Doing so in public can induce such habbits in others especially, younger generation. This is because, adolescents are impressionable and if they see something, they are more-likely to try it. A recent survey state that, 60% of people involved in smoking began doing so as they found it amusing watching someone doing so in public. Argument goes that if masses are allowed to light a cigarette in open areas, it is more likely that upcoming generation will double up the numbers of smokers.

All things considered, despite the inconvenience caused to one's indulged in smoking, I vehemently believe that it has resulted in saving people from physical and mental health hazards.

hello @lana9598

overall, you have a good essay structure and a lot of specific words to support your opinion which could boost your lexical resources
however, I found several silly mistakes on your spelling, such as 'enviroment > environment', 'harmfull > harmful', and 'habbits > habits'

I hope it helps, keep writing!

@amaliazikraa
Thank you but I believe there are more mistakes.

This is only a simple single opinion essay. You do not need to use an extent response to the agree or disagree question. You should also make sure that you present 3-5 sentences in all your paragraphs. Specifically in the paraphrase and reverse paraphrase sections. Avoid run-on sentences (sentences separated by a comma instead of a period) as these long and confusing sentences will definitely lower your GRA, C&C scores.

Spelling Errors:
enviroment - environment
harmfull - harmful
habbits - habits

Grammar Issues:
You do not need a hyphen: more - likely - more likely
Do not capitalize a word after a comma unless it is a proper noun or the first person personal indicator "I" - words, Doing so... - ... doing so...

Word Choice Error:
Use A when the next word starts with a consonant, use AN when the next word starts with a vowel: ... to a isolated place - to an isolated place

Summarize the concluding paragraph with a restatement of the topic, your opinion, and the reasons. Don't use just one run-on to explain your opinion. That is not the proper format for that paragraph and, it only shows half the required information for that section of writing.

Thank you Holt!