[WRITING TASK 2] MOST COUNTRIES WANT TO IMPROVE THE STANDARD OF LIVING THROUGH ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT

Topic:
MOST COUNTRIES WANT TO IMPROVE THE STANDARD OF LIVING THROUGH ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT, HOWEVER, OTHERS THINK SOCIAL VALUE IS LOST AS A RESULT.

DO YOU THINK THE ADVANTAGES OF ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES?

It is true that most governments invest in developing economy to boost the standard of living. But the others think that as a result, this development will cause loss of social value and I also believed that economic development brings more benefits than disadvantages.

On the one hand, economic growth can influence sharply in social value because many families would not have much time to spend for playing with their children on a daily basis. Some parents worn out either physically or mentally all day long and caring for their children is extremely hard. This situation leads to misguided thoughts of young people about bonding of family and consequently, they can go for a wrong way in contrast with hope of their parents. Besides, using advanced technologies can affect greatly in the environment, especially water source. Carbon dioxide, for instance, emitted from factories or industrial zones damages directly in the source of water.

On the other hand, economic growth promotes production process by using special devices that productivity can be higher in the past. It is certainly true that countries with developed economy can uplift the living standard for citizens through health care services such as medicine or hospitals. Corona virus, for example, triggers a huge problem in national economy and causes many deaths, hence, cost contigencies from profit of developing economy can be used to deal with this issue by helping the patients.

In conclusiion, I believed that through policies about growing economy, people can have a good facilities in heath care services outweigh a little impact that it causes.

Thank you for reading! I'm preparing for my ielts test so I appreciate your help =))

Avoid making claims of truth in a Task 2 essay. That is because there are 2 opposing opinions constantly present in every discussion. Neither opinion is fully correct , nor totally wrong either. That is why attestations are never a part of the discussion requirements of this task. Such actions change the discussion focus of the essay which, based on discussion requirements, should only be written from a comparative A/D stance. There is a GRA issue in the essay as well. "Believed" implies that you once supported an idea but not anymore. If the writer still believes in the same opinion , then the presentation should be in the present active form of "believe".

The first reason presented is good. It supported the writer's reason for the most part. It lost its relevance when the second reason was presented as this was no longer leased on an economy related reason. The with should not have included that topic in the paragraph to preserve what would have been a strong C + C score.

The second paragraph is even further removed from the prescribed discussion topic. This caused a total collapse of the discussion and in the process, the failure of the essay presentation.