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In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you

vietthang 1 / -  
Oct 19, 2021   #1
Essay- IELTS writing task 2
In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent.

Why do you think this is and what can be done about it?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience

The crime rate has been on the rise and the extent of severity for each offense is also escalating. The causes behind crimes are complex. Thus, to prevent crime, it is obligatory to have an understanding of its roots. This essay will discuss why the crime rate has increased and what can be done about it.

The main reason for crime is the environment that people live in. I believe poverty is what drives most people to crimes. Poverty manifests itself in a lack of educational opportunities, poor housing. Without proper education, unemployment is what happens next to these people. Hence, they have small and unstable incomes and often struggle to afford shelter, food, and other basic needs. As a result, they commit crimes like pickpocketing, burglary, or even murder to feed their family. In addition, living in poverty causes people to stress. As a result, there is a great temptation to turn to drugs and alcohol use which also has an extremely close connection with crime and violence. Another factor comes from overexposure to violent images, whether from tv, video games as a means of recreation which may cause crimes to become more violent or in real-life like domestic violence can set a negative pattern on a person's mindset.

To address these problems, we should make education available to more people in need and inform people about the consequences of crimes. We also need to raise awareness about drug and alcohol addiction. Besides, Government should create job opportunities for poor people to help them earn an adequate income. A war on poverty is also a war on crime. I believe, in doing so, the living standard of the poor will improve. Hence, it will bring down the crime rate as people are less likely to commit crimes for their basic needs.

In conclusion, more people are living in poverty as the population continues to rise. And as long as there is poverty, the crime rate will increase. A practical approach to this problem will help reduce crime. Perhaps focusing on improving the poor's living conditions. We can do that through education and by creating more job opportunities.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,672 4113  
Oct 20, 2021   #2
The essay failed to provide a relevant example based on the knowledge and experience of the student. This is a somewhat personal opinion essay based on the current crime status of one's country. In this case, the crime status in Vietnam should have been the full basis for the discussion and representation in the reasoning paragraphs. These general discussion points are good and could well apply to any country. However, the prompt discussion indicates that the writer must write from relevant examples and experiences. This is the only missing reference in the presentation. This information could have been made up by the writer, as long as he mentioned a country (such as Vietnam) as the basis of the discussion.

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