Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

TASK2 Some countries have single-sex education models while in others mixed schools are prefered

jane49 1 / 3 1  
May 28, 2021   #1
Education is the biggest concern of everyone around the world. To improve the quality of teaching, some countries have single-sex education models while in others mixed schools are prefered. Personally, I agree with the latter point of view.

Some countries have already had the single-sex school and the school for both sexes. Because people believe that this action will help students be more concentrated and prevent them from being distracted. To some extent, it really efficient and is the right thing to do. Moreover, in the same gender, pupils will compete with each other and be judged equal without any sex discrimination. For instance, in South Korea, there are many single-sex schools, and from reality, we can see how efficient those schools are.

On the other hand, the aforementioned point of view is quite short-sighted. With regard to the aggressive psychology of adolescence, the more we try to put them into two different schools, the more they want to know about the other gender. This feeling will encourage students to make a way for communication or even make a close relationship. Then, our effort to build single-sex school will bring about the counterproductive result. Therefore, in my opinion, I think girls and boys should be educated in the same school. It does not only reduce the curious thinking of student but also help them be used to with the other gender, and adapt quickly to the environment in university where having students of both sexes. However, in both-sex school, teachers and principals should pay more attention to sex education for students. I think it is extremely necessary in general.

In conclusion, there are advantages to both systems. Personally, because the mixed school outweigh the single-sex school in most aspects, I believe that the school with both sexes is the better choice for pupils. But hopefully, times have changed, and both genders of student should have a chance to choose whichever system they want to learn.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,028 4247  
May 29, 2021   #2
It is important that your discussion paragraphs reflect the explanations required by the original presentation. Your essay reflects only your personal point of the discussion based on your understanding of the 2 public opinions. The discussion though, requires you to use the standard 3 paragraphs for the reasoning portion based on a series of explanations :

Paragraph 2: Explain the importance of the public opinion supporting the discussion based on a valid reason. Refer to 3rd person discussion references.
Paragraph 3: Discuss the value of the opposing party and the convincing factor behind it. Present this from the 3rd party viewpoint.
Paragraph 4: Offer your personal opinion that could support one of the 2 public opinions. You may also opt to have a totally different opinion as explained by your personal experience or knowledge. 1st person references will be useful in identifying your opinion.

The important part of this presentation are the public and private analysis of consideration points. Your discussion must follow the discussion format/ paragraph presentation as indicated to recieve full scoring values. Your current work will only get partial scoring values as it does not deliver discussion considerations as expected

There is an optional format you can use to simplify your writing. Offer your personal point of view in the paragraph after explaining the public POV. That way you won't have to write a stand-alone personal opinion paragraph. It will aid in your C + C score to a certain degree as well.
OP jane49 1 / 3 1  
May 29, 2021   #3
Thank you so much for your advice but actually, the question is "discuss both views and give an opinion"

Home / Writing Feedback / TASK2 Some countries have single-sex education models while in others mixed schools are prefered