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Many countries are struggling with increases in crime rates


minhthptbg 2 / 2  
Aug 3, 2020   #1

More police to lower the crime?



Task2: Many countries are struggling with increases in crime rates and some think that having more police on the streets is the best way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Recently, it is true that criminal rate has been becoming increasingly prominent in a large number of nations , as a result, allocating more police publicly is believed to be an effective method. While I agree that this policy gain the advantages in some ways, I also concur that other approaches should be adopted.

At the outset, there are a number of compelling reasons that why having more police is remarkably advocated. The very first reason is that the presence of police on the streets keeps the public security stable. That the offenders commit crimes can be attributed to the lack of cautious surveilance.Thus, by proliferating the quantity of police officers, illegal activities are likely to be prevented. Secondly, fear of increasing crimes among citizens has emerged as common concerns in countries for ages, so the need for more cops to carry on the fight against threaten crimes is apparent. Futhermore,it also creates a sense of safety for society as the risks of crimes tend to be reported instantly especially in case the police offices are too far to make a statement.

Apart from the argument mentioned above, I am of the opinion that other measures to diminish crime proportion should be implemented. As the crimes are increasing rapidly, urgent actions are required. One of the most effective policy is to enact more rigorous legislation. A prolonged jail sentence, for example, would prevent criminals from committing crimes as they would avoid serving that sentence at all cost.Simultaneously, utilizing government coffers on educational reforms should be taken into account since the inadequacy of basic education leads to the growth of crimes. Poor education is likely to put a restriction on employment opportunities which causes people to offend against law so as to get money for their survival. Hence, upgrading academic systems is worth being considered by government.

In summary, while the benefits of adding more police make it seem like a good idea, I believe that there are variety of more different ways to deal with this situation.
QuocHuu 7 / 14  
Aug 3, 2020   #2
To me this essay is so good that there are not going to be having any douts about you getting high points in IELTS writing,Nice one!!! :D
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4773  
Aug 4, 2020   #3
This is not a comparative essay. You wrote it in a manner that does not properly respond to the task requirement. The task requirement is to have you explain your response to the question: To what extent do you agree or disagree. The response to the question should be clearly provided in the response discussion outline of the prompt paraphrase (I strongly agree / disagree) for further development in the reasoning paragraphs.

As a single opinion essay, you must focus on presenting 2 supporting opinions for your response. That is lacking in this essay. You have not provided a clear opinion in support of the given question. There is no room to discuss alternative solutions because that was never indicated as a discussion direction in the original prompt. Overall, the essay fails to meet the response requirements for this task and will end up getting a failing score.
minhkhue16 2 / 2  
Aug 4, 2020   #4
I think that this essay is good. However, you should clarify your opinion, in this essay, you do not state clearly what your view is


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