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In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV

Erica Tin 2 / 2  
Nov 29, 2017   #1

Question IELTS writing task 2:

In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV.What do you think are the causes of this?What solutions can you suggest?

There is a little likelihood that the teenager will keen to chase the news from newspapers or TV. As the development of Internet greater than before,youngster bombard by the enormous information from different websites.The purpose of the technology is offering people tools to enhance the progression of human society. When it comes to the changing of receving news, teenagers is the group that acceptance is higher than elderly.

Although the influence of information is a crucial element to stimulate the young generation, the life style of getting news has transform into creative ways.Newspapers and TV programs are not the only resource to catch the latest news. Instead,the Internet have supersede the traditional news transportation and the improvement of the high-technology replace the old-fashion one. Indeed,the impact of technology is the main reason to eliminate the needs of newspapers and other traditional gadgets which is the important way to transmit information before the thriving of Internet.As a matter of fact, the young people diminish the purchasing rate on newspapers and turn into website reading.

By and large, young generation prefer Internet rather than old-fashion ways to accept the data. As the nature youth, they tend to utilize the new products.In order to receive latest news, they choose to the fastest way to get the knowledge they need.

Anyway,the main purpose of TV and newspapers is spreading information,there is no need to change the youngster life style on Internet.In my personal point of view, the progression of transporting news will be replaced by other innovation of tools. It is an inevitable trend in modern society, and the only solution should be under the supervision of public.However,the future of human is unpredictable,and only a few can stop the transformation of life style.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,978 3867  
Nov 29, 2017   #2
Erica, since this the first time that you have posted an IELTS Task 2 essay for review here, I will assume that you are self-studying and you do not have the guidance of an instructor to aid you with your practice tests. I came to this assumption because the essay that you wrote does not follow the formula for a proper Task 2 essay at all. The format should have been as follows:

Par. 1 - Prompt paraphrase
Par. 2-4 - Discussion with reason and examples.
Par. 5 - Conclusion

The first paragraph in your essay would have caused an automatic failing grade of the essay in the TA portion because you did not accurately represent the paraphrase discussion in that section. Once you make a mistake in the TA section, which results in a failing score, it will be extremely difficult to muster even a close to passing score for the remaining elements. Mostly because the part that accounts the most in the scoring criteria received a failing mark. Let me show you a model opening paraphrase, which applies to all of the Task 2 practice tests:

There is a growing decline in the number of adolescents who are interest in either gaining information for news from either papers or television news programs. An explanation exists regarding this trend. In this essay, I will be discussing methods by which this downward direction can be reversed.

You have to remember that in order to score better in the first scoring salvo of this test, you must be able to prove that you are capable of explaining what the original topic for discussion is and how it is to be discussed in your own words. Using the keywords from the original will ensure a good score. However, showing off a bit by using synonyms for the words will help to increase 2 sections of the score immediate, the TA and LR sections. Increase your score in those parts and the rest of the scoring should follow suit.

After repeated readings of the body paragraphs that you wrote, it appears that you just discuss the same reason in 3 different ways. The examiner will be conscious of that fact and lower your score accordingly for all 4 sections. Make sure that you create a different topic sentence for each paragraph and you discuss these topics accordingly. That way, you can show off your GRA and C&C skills accordingly.

Do not present a personal point of view in an essay that does not specifically ask you to do so by asking for your opinion in the discussion instruction. Doing so is a prompt alteration that could negatively affect your final score. The concluding statement should not be used to continue the discussion. Rather, it is meant to summarize the discussion you presented within 3-5 sentences. So your essay does not have a concluding statement. Instead, it is an open ended essay that will result in a lowered overall score for your work in an actual setting.
brucedeniger - / 4  
Dec 11, 2017   #3
The number of people reading newspapers is decreasing day by day.The main reason for this is due to the vast growth of technology.Since everything is available at our fingertips, people never read newspaper , instead they read or watch news in their phone or from internet.People are so much involved in social media that , they get to know everything over there, non need of reading or watching it somewhere separately.

In my point of view this is not a good habit ,as people are becoming internet addict that they not even spend time reading as people were doing before.Reading is a very good quality and there are many merits for reading and it relaxes one.

There are people especially old who still reds newspaper no matter what.so one should at least try to find time for reading newspaper.
Jimmy879873 26 / 55 13  
Dec 11, 2017   #4
Hi Erica, there are a few things I would like to point out for you. Providing the solution should be in one single paragraph along with one main idea. The conclusion is a section for you to wrap up your developed ideas. Right now, the third paragraph is reinforcing your second paragraph which is unnecessary, you can either eliminate or attach it to the second paragraph.

You did not have to state the last sentence because the prompt did not ask you to do so, "However,the future of human is unpredictable,and only a few can stop the transformation of life style." , it merely requested you to provide what are the causes and solutions.

Hope that helps.
sfiza 17 / 28  
Dec 15, 2017   #5
@Erica Tin

Dear, I have read your essay. first of all, i think you need read more and more writing, so that you will know the structure of a essay.

when you read something or passage, just follow how a paragraph develop, vocabularies ( always try to know the intermediate level vocab that increase your LR),

just do as i say, in this way you can see your writing improvement.

keep writing dear, :)
PeterBrown 16 / 25 6  
Dec 23, 2017   #6
There is a little likelihood that ...
Also remember that there should be a space between coma and a word.

By and large, young generation ...
This paragraph is too short try to aim for around 4 to 5 medium-length sentences per paragraph

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