IELTS 2: Country is already rich, any addition in economic wealth does not make its citizens happier

Some people think that if a country is already rich, any addition in economic wealth does not make its citizens happier.

Do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that citizens of an economically prospering nation will not benefit in terms of life satisfaction were they to be conferred with any further financial growth. From my point of view, I concur with this statement owing to my rationales in the forthcoming paragraphs.

To initiate, boosting an economy is accompanied by increased stress and pressure. To drive an economy forward, companies have to increase their revenues and focus on innovations, which would translate to a higher workload for employees. In developed nations, people may already be content with their work hours, only to be faced with extra tasks and work overtime, leaving them less time to recuperate and face an elevated level of stress. The resulting extra wealth created could furthermore present itself as an extra burden for them to maintain their status of being well-off, such as fears of being robbed and additional taxes. This can lead to feelings of burnout and depression, which ultimately outweigh the benefits of increased prosperity.

In addition, a continuous pursuit of wealth building also glosses over other important aspects of life. When people are consumed with earning money, they would pay no heed to quality time with family and friends. In the long run, such negligence would lead to strain and disconnection, leaving them in a state of loneliness. The situation is exacerbated when this obsession also can mislead people to a narrow perspective of life, whereby accumulating material possessions become the goal of their life. This deprives them of the ability to perceive the simple pleasures of life around them, and gives vent to a comparison and competition society where materialism shines. Although financial success can be achieved, people may be plagued with dissatisfaction and lack of fulfillment for the rest of their life.

In conclusion, attempts at augmenting economic prosperity in developed countries would not be able to increase its citizen's happiness due its associated rampant stress and people's tendency to belittle other aspects of life.

You have tendency to be highly verbose in your writing. Using over complicated sentence presentations that could be better presented in a properly formatted method instead. Remember this, a long sentence is not necessarily a complex sentence. A heavily worded sentence does not necessarily translate into a meaningful sentence. These are not part of the scoring criteria and would instead, place you in danger of creating unintentional score reducing errors. Keep the reasoning explanation simple, but use the correct sentence variations. 330 words in 40 minutes? It will be a stretch to complete when you should be focusing on the C+C section of the essay rather than the vocabulary and incorrect grammar range depiction. This essay could end up incompletely written during an actual test. The examiner will be more impressed by your intellect if you can clearly explain yourself using a limited number of words, as you would be expected to do in an English classroom during time constrained exercises and oral discussions. This essay does not really show such an ability in your case.